Washington DC Mommy blogger

Inside the Mind of the American Husband

October 17, 2011

Almost two months ago, my oldest started Kindergarten and we moved my youngest into a big girl bed. Dismantling the crib and sending a kid off on a school bus in the span of 48 hours was too much for this gal to take.

Fast forward to today. How do I feel about it?

Well, I’ve had trouble missing the crib because it moved about 15 feet from inside her room to here:

Does a dismantled crib belong in a hallway?

You got it. My husband very efficiently took her crib apart and set up the big girl bed. Then moved the crib parts into the hall. And there it all sits. Day in, day out. He goes up there every single day. Does he not see it? Note the crib sheet remains on the crib mattress. Is it a mirage? Am I parched in the desert, envisioning a mess that no one else sees?

I asked him when he’ll move it.

“When I get around to it,” he casually replied.

So I wait. On this one, I am waiting to see just how long it can sit there. Or just how long I can stand looking at it before I lose it. Am I alone, people? It’s been in the hallway since August 30. If I moved it onto his side of the bed, do you think he would put it away or maybe just move it to the floor next to the bed? I’m known for many things but subtle is not one of them.

When our office chandelier needs a new bulb, somehow my husband thinks it’s easier to retrieve a bulb from this eyesore hallway chandelier, that sits approximately 40 feet from the ground, and put it in the office chandelier, instead of just getting a new bulb and replacing the old one. Exhibit B:

What happens when all the bulbs go out?

Do you see the dismantled crib in the background of this shot? Brilliant.

Why do they do this, these husbands? Do they all love the short-cut because I know it’s not my unique cross to bear. Is there some secret conspiracy they are all bound too, like blood brothers? And to be fair, my husband is a great dad, he is engaged, he plays with them, he has endless patience and I’ve often noted the importance of traveling with your manny. But what is it about half-done home projects?

Speak up, husbands. We are curious.

Don’t forget to “Like” the Wired Momma FB page to keep up with these shenanigans….and to find out when the crib eventually gets put away. Will it be 2012? 2013? It’s too soon to tell…

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Husbands

Pumpkin Patch True Confessions

October 14, 2011

I’ve made a sport out of being the anti-patch gal this month but the truth is, even I know that fun can be found at pumpkin patches in our area. And in the spirit of true confessions, I have visited pumpkin patches this year and I’ve even enjoyed myself. But there are rules to pumpkin patch visits, just like Fight Club.

The first rule of Pumpkin Patch Fight Club – go early. This is particularly true if you, like moi, cannot stand crowded events and obnoxious parents who treat the event like a babysitter. My patience is running on empty these days so in order to avoid an inappropriate altercation that makes everyone uncomfortable (I particularly cannot stand the unattended MoonBounce at Butler’s Orchard and the parents who let their kids stay in the MoonBounce for an eternity while the line grows longer and longer of line-weary toddlers), I prefer to arrive at the patch precisely when they open and get out before noon, when the crowd really starts swelling. The ideal day for this outing is Sunday because so many people are at Church on Sunday morning, so I beat the crowds by going then.

The second rule of Pumpkin Patch Fight Club – pack your patience. If your kids are anything like mine, just because you have them dressed up in

They were sort of cooperating

Halloween themed outfits and can stage the perfect autumnal photo op for the holiday cards, photo albums or Grandparent gifts, doesn’t mean the kid cares about your efforts or will smile, let alone both look at the camera at the same time. Know this going into it and it makes it slightly more bearable. Or just give up and don’t even attempt it.

The third rule of Pumpkin Patch Fight club – snacks. By 9:45am on our pumpkin patch outing, after enduring countless queries for a snack, despite my lectures that if they’d just eat their breakfast, they wouldn’t be hungry for snack, my husband turns to me and says “Maybe next time we just take them to 7-11.” Amen brother. Maybe.

So what patches do I frequent?

This year we visited Larriland in Woodbine, MD for the first time and absolutely loved it. My husband said “I will not go to Butlers again but I will go to a place called Larriland.” And off we went. Just over the border into Howard County, and well worth the trek, Larriland offers a less commercialized and more authentic pumpkin patch experience than the larger (and more expensive) productions in our area like Butlers or Cox. The flip side is I would venture to guess Larriland is less appealing to older kids seeking more adventure and options. My girls loved the 20 minute hayride through the “Spooky Forest” complete with historical figures with pumpkin heads on the approach to the forest, and fictional characters ranging from the crew from Winnie the Pooh to Harry Potter to Shrek, throughout the forest. At 3.95 a person (be sure to purchase your hayride tickets in the red barn before heading down for the hayride), it was definitely worth the price. Also, unlike many other area patches, they continuously run the hayrides at Larriland so I never noticed the line swelling while we were there. The “Boo Barn” was also cute for the very little ones, albeit a short experience at $2 a ticket for the kids. The maze was a real highlight for us, my younger one loved chasing her older sister and it was a great workout for me trying to keep up with where they were turning. They also offer an array of fruits and vegetables to pick at Larriland through the summer and fall, so I will likely head up there next summer.

Speaking of picking fruit, I do love apple picking. And every fall we take the girls to Homestead Farms in Poolesville, MD to pick 30lbs of apples that we really don’t need. A few years ago, on our first trip to Homestead, we naively showed up late morning and had to mill about the parking lot, stalking families emptying their wheelbarrows, in order to score a wheelbarrow for our own picking. It was that experience that profoundly altered my entire approach to “fall fun” in Washington DC. Somehow having to loiter in a parking lot for a wheelbarrow felt so contrarian to the images of farms and orchard picking I’d conjured up in my head before arriving.

Since then, I only head to Homestead right when it opens. My girls especially love apple picking because the trees are so low and it’s easy even for an 18 month old to grab apples off a tree. Of course you can also go on a hayride at Homestead and pick a pumpkin in the patch, or just scoop one up in the shop when you’re paying for your freshly picked apples. Although Homestead has many more farm animals than Larriland, they don’t have the themed events like the maze or haunted barn.

Final Pumpkin Patch Fight Club Rule - Never leave home without your manny

And all of this brings me to the final rule of fight club, try to avoid heading to the patch without your manny, especially when heading to one of these patches with a group of friends. If you’d like time to chat, be sure to bring them, and if your manny is out of town for the weekend, well then you can just rely on the other friend’s manny. It’s possible I was quite busy running my mouth with the sister wives on this particular apple picking adventure.

Happy pumpkin patch going, friends. Don’t forget the rules of fight club. Would love to hear your fav pumpkin patch spots in the area!

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DC Events with Kids

DC is Ranked #9 for Working Moms

October 13, 2011

As much as I would love to dish about whether Beyonce is faking her baby bump (and her age) – and is actually 37 and using a surrogate – and as much as I’d love to discuss how anti-woman these deceptions are if they are true – I will instead focus today on the Forbes ranking of top cities for Working Moms. For the third year, Forbes Woman has ranked the top cities for Working Moms in the country and this year Washington DC fell from the ranking of 2 to 9. Anyone who follows my blog knows I was highly suspicious of Parenting Mag’s ranking of DC as the number one city for families. So, I certainly eyed these results dubiously.

Is this how a top working mom city ranking is supposed to look?

First, Forbes Woman is right to factor things like cost of child care, employment, salaries and then time – specifically time spent commuting – into their criterion for what makes a top working town for mothers. I am actually really proud to learn that working women in Washington rank one nationwide for income levels – this is a great thing for everyone, including our kids, and hopefully many of these women are affecting public policy and influencing positive change. But when you are averaging a higher salary than any other city nationwide, that comes with a price tag. A hefty one – one that is more than just a lot of time spent commuting (where we ranked 49th, a contributing factor to the fall to 9th place). A high salary translates into a demanding job which translates into a lot of working hours – which does not equal to work-family “balance” and time spent with children. All of this, in turns, makes me highly suspicious of how this is a great town for working moms? Cause we work a lot?

These types of rankings are so attractive for media coverage and bloggers like myself. We love to see where our city ranks, we love to pat ourselves on the back. But there is not emotional ranking to these surveys – it’s all just facts and figures – and it’s the emotional component to working for moms that comes with the heaviest price for all of us.

So, I applaud Forbes for digging a little deeper this year and really looking beyond the surface at things like commuting time, cost of childcare, crime and ranking of physicians (DC ranked 8 for that). But what I’d like to see is a closer look from DC employers at why we fell from #2 to #9 and the repercussions of time away from family, demanding working hours and commuting time: what is the price we pay for these things in terms of our stress levels and our health?

And instead of applauding DC’s placement in the top ten, let’s spend more time looking at employers like the State University of New York at Buffalo who gives employees (including fathers) 28 weeks of time off for the birth of a child, including adoption. That’s a true attempt at work-life balance, something I’d prefer not to call a “benefit” and warrants a top ranking.

What do you think of these types of rankings? Forbes is asking what metrics they can change or should add to gauge what is really “best” for working moms? I’d vote they add a job flexibility ranking – isn’t that what so many are seeking?

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Washington Mommy Blogger, Work, Work-Life Balance

Should adults accept Facebook friend requests from young kids?

October 11, 2011

In case you didn’t catch it last week, I posted my first piece for HuffPost DC. So often we talk about the need to protect children from predators online, and obviously I agree with that completely, but in my first piece, I wanted to explore the potential pitfalls of accepting a young child’s Facebook friend request, especially because so many children under the age of 13 are joining Facebook (in fact, data shows that 7.5 million under 13 have accounts). I’d love for you to read it and see what you think.

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DC Parenting Blogger