Love Moi….Some More

Many of you might not know that I’ve been blogging for close to six years. Until last year, I mainly did it for fun and when I had time, and I basically did nothing to generate readers. It became an outlet for me and my friends read because they love moi. Valentine’s Day is always a time of year that annoys me and something I wrote back on Valentine’s Day in 2007 still rings true today. So today, you get retro Wired Momma. Except back then I was blogging under my original name of Kitty Time – so enjoy it. Some of the pop culture references are a little dated but I think that makes this piece even better because it throws us all back to 2007. Note the Moi Loves Moi theme doesn’t seem to be unique to 2012 when I was blabbing it all over the place in this retro-post.  So enjoy…and Happy Valentine’s Day.  Oh – and if on this Valentine’s Day, you are fighting the reality that you can’t pretend like you have a childless marriage even though you have children, or you are wondering why you and your mate don’t make love like porn stars, this post is especially for you.

———————————————

Dear Readers –

Just be realistic about it.....is all I'm sayin'.....

Kitty-Time is blushing over all the tokens of love and affection her beloved fans sent her on Valentine’s Day! All the notes, the dark chocolate, the beautiful flowers – you really shouldn’t have! I know you think I’m pretty and smart, but those of you who called me “Beauty Queen Yoda,” you really went too far. We barely have any empty vases left chez moi…….

And so, on this day of love, should we discuss all the ways you love moi? All the reasons you love moi? Mais Oui!

Or….shall we discuss being smart in love…..because Kitty-Time readers are not silly, naive women. Mais non! KT readers are savvy and sexy….

I was inspired by Sunday’s Modern Love column in the NYT. Any of you catch it? The columnist covered all the standard mistakes people make in love. My two favs were as follows:

1. People who want to keep a childless marriage although they have children
2. People who believe they should make love like porn stars.

SO let’s get started, kittens.

First up – those of you who are still in denial that your life and marriage is the same, even though you have children. Darlings. Gather round – not only are your life and marriage different, but so are your floppy boobies and flabby abs. I’m making your body sound like bunny characters out of an Easter tale, I’m sure you love it.

But Yes. Yes. Of course you had perfectly round and perky bosoms before. And yes, we all know you had rock-hard Jessica Biel abs. Of course you did. It’s good that you believe that. But you probably don’t anymore.
With the right bra and the right clothing (think SPANX, girls), you can still give off the impression that you have these things – and that, my dear readers, is what counts! Feeling sexy makes you sexier to anyone around you. It’s all about attitude, cats, so work it! And the more you believe that your boobies look like Jessica Simpson’s and your tummy like Jessica Biel, the more this will become your reality! There’s nothing wrong with that.

But back to your life and marriage. It’s different. Accept it, deal with it, find a routine and a system that still gives you time for each other, don’t fight it and you and your partner will find yourselves lucky in love like you were on your wedding night. If you keep denying the fact that your life is different, if you keep resisting the change that this beautiful babe has brought to your world..well then…sorry……Cupid’s got his golden arrow pointed right for your ass.

Now, as for having a love life like a porn star.
That one makes me laugh out loud.

Kitty-Time is a believer in playing to your strengths and playing to your partner’s strengths.
Has your partner shown that he is like Casanova in the boudoir before?
Do you have all kinds of XXX trixs up your sleeve that you can pull off like a natural?
If so, well then, you do make love like porn stars and it sounds fun!

If not, then quit your crying and wishing he’d become Casanova and instead, focus on his strengths. And yours.

Does he surprise you by making coffee and doing the laundry without you asking?

That’s my kind of Casanova.

Does he remember to get milk on the way home without a whisper from you? Does he just make dinner and take the initiative?
Now you’re talking dirty. It’s getting hot in here…..

Seriously kittens…..KT hopes her dear readers don’t set themselves up for disappointment. If your beloved doesn’t have a track record of surprising you with gifts and flowers, well then, he’s not going to start now. So don’t be disappointed, be realistic on what to expect – and if you’re looking for that white dress and busily planning your wedding….and he hasn’t started those things yet, he sure as hell isn’t going to start once he tears that white gown off you.

And so, dear readers, keep all the mementos of your affection for me coming. I might be blushing, but I love it.

Have a fabulous day of love. Love yourself, love your babies, and remember – play to your strengths and Cupid’s Arrow will keep hitting your home and your heart.

Winter Reading Week: WM Favorite Books

Winter Reading Week continues into this week because superior French parenting sort of derailed my theme last week…and so in this time to celebrate what we love, it seems perfectly appropriate to celebrate books and authors we love.

Among my circle of friends, I am surrounded by women with a range of really cool, creative and artistic talents. One edits films, ads for Etsy vendors or corporate videos, one takes fabulous pictures of children and families, one paints beautiful customized canvases for kids rooms (oh, and yes, those are my sisters), another is a party planner and then there is my friend Vanessa Giancamilli Birch, who  along with several talents, has published four children’s books. Receiving a pitch letter from one of your best friends is pretty much hilarious but along with her pitch came an autographed copy of her latest book, Seagull by the Shore; the Story of  Herring Gull.

Beautifully illustrated and written

Not only is the book a delightful read, my girls absolutely loved it, it is also beautifully illustrated. In her well written pitch, Vanessa immediately noted, “Why would children be interested in a book about a seagull?”

And while it’s a good question, I wouldn’t have asked it because we spend countless summer days in Bethany and my girls are obsessed with the seagulls. My personal feeling towards those birds is a little different from my girls – so I actually can see that it’s a great bird to feature in a kids story – and Vanessa’s book even softened my attitude towards the seagull as I learned about the mommy bird forgaging for her babies.

Vanessa pointed out that seagulls aren’t nearly as interesting as tigers, monkeys, elephants or pandas but it is precisely because they aren’t exotic and they don’t live in faraway lands that she believes this book appeals to children – and I couldn’t agree with her more. Learning about creatures they see every day is endlessly fascinating and fun for little ones. We absolutely loved Vanessa’s book, just as we loved her other three, reading about Patches the dog remains one of our top favorite books in the nightly book rotation chez moi (we also love the Platypus and Gecko books too!).

This is the first book Vanessa has published since she had her first child, so I had to ask her if she feels differently about writing children’s book now that she is a mother. “I feel much differently about children’s books now that I have my son.  I don’t necessarily have the time to write, but I feel like now when I write I’m a much more creative thinker.  I try to view the world from my son’s perspective.  Before I had him, I would write about the everyday life of an animal (like the seagull in my latest book) and take for granted the little things, like the bird plucking a piece of bread from a picnic.  But now, thinking about that same small action from Rocco’s perspective makes those everyday habits fascinating and full of wonder,” was Vanessa’s response to my question. Leaves me eagerly awaiting to see what she writes next and how she’ll feel about that project once it’s completed.

So, please, check out Vanessa’s book and if you’re interested in having this local mom and author come read at show-and-tell at your children’s school, then be sure to post a comment here. She is absolutely open to it – so don’t be shy.

Moving on to other books or authors I love, and in my attempt to highlight authors that aren’t as common as, say, Mo Willems, I feel compelled to talk about Barefoot Books. I found this line before Christmas while shopping in New York City and we love them. I bought six at once and plan to go buy more. We’ve started off with a dinosaur book, a pirate book, a book about a fruit thieving parrot named Tico Tango, a poetic book about animals in the meadow,  two kids’ adventures with a Dragon on the Doorstep, and finally a mathematical twist on the Princess and a Pea. True, I might have a compulsive book-buying problem but these books are fabulous. Not only are they exciting and creative but they come with CDs that sing-along with the book. I think the word for these books is infectious. Beyond Vanessa’s books, they are my new go-to gift books for all kid related birthdays, occasions, etc.  After reading more about Barefoot Books on their site, I am even more loyal to this small company as it was founded by two mothers who wanted to instill creativity and imagination in their children while also teaching them about diversity and the world around them. If a tango thieving parrot, portside pirates or mathematically sophisticated princesses don’t do it for you, then surely they have something that will.

Now let’s move on to apps. I don’t know about you but I am constantly overwhelmed with app choices and what are the best ones for my kids. I’ve given up the “is it good for them” fret and have moved on to, if they’re going to do it, it’s limited and it’s going to be strictly educational (minus the zombie killing game I can’t seem to get deleted off my husband’s iPhone much to my chagrin and 3-year-old’s delight). That being said, I still don’t spend much time researching great apps, because I don’t need too, thanks to Moms with Apps.  I hop onto that site or Common Sense Media and come away with plenty of ideas on great books or apps for my girls. The Common Sense Media app has proven particularly useful to me time and again. Seems I need an app for my apps.

Finally, I recently learned about We Give Books. We Give Books is a free website that enables anyone with access to the Internet to put books in the hands of children who don’t have them, just by reading online.  Simply choose the charity you want to read for and then select the books you want to read. For each book you read online, they donate a book to a leading literacy group on your behalf. It’s as easy as that – and points back to the question I asked at the begining of Winter Reading Week – are people reading books to their kids on the computer? It seems if you haven’t yet – now is an easy time to read a few  – to benefit others! 
 
Starting tomorrow, they are launching the Read for My School Campaign, which will enable you to earn books for your public school!

If you have any beloved children’s books at home, tell us here! Don’t forget, if you’re new here, be sure to “Like” the Wired Momma Facebook page, to keep up with shenanigans, great articles and really any other gossip that appeals to moi.

Cashing in on Unproductive Culture Wars: French Parenting Superior?

If you believe these kids never had a tantrum & always eat what's put in front of them, then maybe I'll tell you another....

As a general rule of thumb, I try to avoid parenting stories that everyone else is already blogging and writing about. Mainly because – well – what else can I add in that isn’t already being said. But earlier this week I got so fed up with listening to Pamela Druckerman wax on about the French superior parenting styles, that I broke my own self-imposed Winter Reading Week theme, and my own rule on “If everyone else is doing it, avoid it,” and instead addressed the blatant stereotypes about American parenting Druckerman is using for her own personal profit in a post for HuffPost.

I think, in part, I wanted to blog on this topic because I have a decent view into other cultures from having grown up living overseas. I actually went to a French preschool in Tunisia and spoke it fluently as a young child. I spent my high school years in Brussels, Belgium. I love so much about French culture. But when I read Druckerman’s interviews about her book – I don’t quite know what she is talking about that makes those parenting styles uniquely French. Instead, isn’t she just talking about good parenting?? I think she conveniently globs on to some stereotypes about American parenting to help get everyone talking about her – and while that might be working – I hope it doesn’t translate into book sales.

And look, again,  I get globbing onto stereotypes about American culture. When I was getting ready to graduate high school and return to the US for college, all I knew about American kids my own age was this: what I saw on 90210. Sure, I thought  hanging out at the Peach Pit seemed like tons of fun but I thought Brenda seemed so bitchy and Dylan was way too cool for school – me and my friends seriously wondered how  in the world we would ever make friends in college – because we assumed everyone here was like that.

But here’s the thing. I was 17.  I was allowed to think everything about Americans on TV was true. Druckerman is a grown woman, and a journalist at

I was afraid everyone was going to be like them....unfortunately we all were probably dressed like this

 that.

My conclusion: good parenting is borderless. What I wish she’d spent some time on is how the vast support given to French parents by the state impacts their parenting style. Imagine having four months of PAID maternity leave, or being able to leave your job for a year and know that it’s kept safe? Or 5 nights in the hospital instead of two (or really one if you are unlucky enough to deliver the baby at 11pm). And don’t even get me started on FREE childcare. I’m pretty sure these things would have a profound impact on everything about me, including my stress level and my patience and how I parent. Wouldn’t that have been great to learn more about?

Here’s a link to my piece. If these Druckerman interviews have annoyed you as much as moi, I hope you’ll read it, I’d love for you to share it on Facebook or Twitter (or both) or comment…or disagree with me – whatever moves you. If it moves you.

Will get back to Winter Reading Week tomorrow. I promise! C’est vrai.

Winter Reading Week: To eBook with kids or not?

If you’re a WM FB fan (and if you’re  not, you’re totally missing out), then you know that I’ve declared this week Winter Reading Week. Come on, who doesn’t love a good theme, and also, I’ve gotten some of our favorite kid books of all times from friends’ suggestions or as gifts, so let’s share the love leading up to Valentine’s Day and reveal our secrets. Odds are most of you have suggestions that the rest of us haven’t yet heard. So before I get started on eBooks & print books, I’d love for you to send me an email with your favorite kids books (please include the ages the kids loved the books!!), this includes eBooks or amazing educational apps (sadly, we have enough of Angry Birds or Killing Zombies here, to my horror) or if you’d rather share your totally awesome tips for making reading fun and creative, please do send me those and Friday will be WM “loves her readers & their awesome suggestions” day. Email moi: monica.sakala@gmail.com

One of the I'm In It Personalized Books options..great way to prepare for school

So because I am totally cutting edge and hip, I wanted to kick off this week with eBooks. Either you do or you don’t with your kids. Last November, I read this article  in the NYT with great interest. In a nutshell, eBooks for kids aren’t as widely accepted as eBooks for adults, even among adults who only read books on their iPads or Nooks. By no means am I an early adopter of technology, so we are 99% traditional book readers with kids in my house but not because I’m opposed to it. I certainly wouldn’t picture myself nuzzling up with a newborn in a rocking chair with my iPad, ever, but on a road trip with my 6-year-old, if she wants to read an eBook, then I am all for it.

Before Christmas, I was lucky enough to connect with a local DC area mom, Radhika Murari, who is blazing a trail in children’s eBooks with personalized eBooks called “I’m in It!”. In fact, Radhika had her “ah ha moment” almost one year ago to the day – last February 8, 2011. She told me that  motherhood inspired this business because she was trying to follow the recommendation of her pediatrician to avoid TV time for kids under the age of 2-years-old. On long trips to the zoo and around town, Radhika would tell her son stories in the car. Her stories then evolved into stories with his name in it and she realized that kids really do respond when their name is in a story. And who are we kidding,  not just kids, after all, because  moi loves moi, you say “Wired Momma” and I say “Who me?  Oh yes, I am listening….” You know you’re the same…

So on that day last February, Radhika likened her “ah ha moment” to playing Tetrus and felt the pieces of her puzzle all falling into place. With experience in books and technology, she talked with a software developer and launched her business. Monthly she offers a new feature book and printable coloring pages. She also encourages feedback from other moms and learned that her eBooks are great birthday gifts for other kids but no one likes showing up empty-handed to a birthday party, so now you can print a personalized greeting card from the picture book to bring to the party.

For other family members interested in giving these books as gifts, you can record a personalized audio message on the first page of the book, which is really ideal for Grandparents or parents in the military. As Radhika spoke with me about her business, I really appreciated it when she said “Women think they can’t do things but before you know it, you look back, and it’s done.”

Couldn’t agree with her more.

So whether you are an eBook fanatic or opponent, I think eBooks are just going to continue to grow in popularity for kids and I enjoyed connecting with this local mom and entrepreneur who is forging her own path in this field. These books are compatible with iPads, Androids, Nook readers or Macs and PCs.  The books retail for $3.99 and Radhika is generously offering my readers 50% off to try one of her books, here’s the code to enter to receive the discount: ImInIt-41

So what do you think:  Are you eBook fans in your house for the kids? Would love to hear why or why not. And don’t forget to share your favorite books, apps or reading tips with me before the end of the week, if you’d love a to be included in Super Fan Friday.

Until then, like Moi on Facebook to keep up with the fun and frolic. Winter Reading Week continues all week…..