Halloween Diva: The Great Negotiation

Hey guess what, did you know I birthed Beyoncé.

And Lady Gaga.

In fact, maybe I’ve defied logic and managed to actually birth Madonna.

I should really go back in time…..cause she can turn back time..and say I’ve delivered Cher:

“What do you mean I only can wear ONE costume on Halloween,” indignantly exclaimed Lady Gaga my almost 4-year-old Halloween diva. Ahh…the annual rite of passage each autumn. The Halloween costume negotiation is a time-honored tradition, passed on quietly and secretly among generations of children, steadfastly pursued with one common goal: to drive their parents insane. And deplete our bank accounts if given their way.

I think you know what I’m talking about. The idea of a child committing to wearing ONE costume…but more than that…..committing to said costume and actually still wanting to wear THAT costume once it arrives in the mail….is a delicate art of negotiation and peace-keeping that creates feelings of ill-will towards All Hallows Eve among the parental units.

It’s the classic tension between the shorties and their oppressed, confused and tired parents…..the very adult who thinks they are doing right by their child by ordering their beloved costume early, before they sell out in their size, only to learn said oppressor no longer wants to wear THAT costume anymore. All this before I even get to the other Halloween challenge, otherwise known as “How to find a costume where your 7-year-old daughter doesn’t look like a floozey” and then order said costume (because there are 2 of them) before they all sell out in her size by September 29.

But back to the matter at hand: Do these kids have a bat phone straight to Madonna? She changed costumes 15 times per show during her MDNA tour (and apparently that didn’t help her. Think we can explain that to the toddlers?)

What kills me is this epic Halloween battle can begin as early as late August when those catalogs start invading your mailbox.

Back at chez moi, Beyonce the youngest WM’ette was prepared to drop  $10,000 on her plentiful outfit changes, this is the outfit that was taking the lead:

My 4-year-old Wolverine

Next up she selected Spiderman. Then Batman. Then was ready to rotate in Twilight Sparkle Pony and Rainbow Dash pony.

I was intrigued by the mix of characters and messages each conveyed. Her theme needed some work, I reasoned but this didn’t dissuade her.

For sport, I messed with her.

“So will you stop off at home in between houses on Halloween and change costumes?”

Gaga thought a minute.
“Yes.”

“But what happens if it takes so much time to change into different costumes, that the other houses run out of candy?” I proudly respond, thinking “Point One, Parent.”
“Well, then I will wear different ones to my school and to pumpkin patches.”

The diva takes the lead in the negotiation. You really can’t out-fox the fox, can you?

Perhaps she would like a grand finale event for her final costume change on the big night – taken straight from one of her idols’ books, I consider:

Photo Credit: Kevin Mazur/WireImage, via Getty Images

Look…I know I don’t suffer alone with my little Diva…this is a common problem plaguing parents everywhere, right? Tell moi it ain’t just my own toddler.  Join WM on Facebook to keep up with the fun and diva antics.  You’ll be so glad you did.

 

Uncensored Guide to the ABCs…..We Welcome You Letter D

Sorry fans, we’ve received all your fan mail, we blush at how much you love the Gallagher sisters’ Uncensored Guide to the ABCs…and we hope our brief two-week absence from this award-winning series didn’t leave you feeling a little empty inside. Blame moi and not the other three Gallagher sisters – they were diligently working on the Letter D week way back in September.

And as you know from previous weeks…..this is no Disney themed D List. Dads need not apply. Below we have some epic suggestions for what your tyke could bring in this week for the letter D….and special bonus – to compensate for the pain and agony you suffered awaiting the next in this series – we will even offer you a pretty amazing glimpse at well….us….in the past.

#The80sThemeNeverDies

Drumroll……this week how about you consider:

Duran Duran

Designer Denim

Dungeons & Dragons

Diana, the People’s Princess

Note: Me and Mr Wired Momma do this at home a lot. Photo of: Jennifer Grey & Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Unless you thought it was me and Mr WM. In which case, it is.

Dirty Dancing….because no one puts Baby in the corner

Dallas…we are onto some possible Halloween costumes…you know you want to rock some killer Alexis hair

Dynasty (umm…can we make a note to not forget FALCON CREST when it’s the letter F week?)

Def Leppard

David Hasselhoff…OBVIOUSLY

So where else can we go from here? Can the D list get any better? Do you need anything else for your child’s preschool back pack than say, a copy of Dirty Dancing or this amazing picture of David Hasselhoff?

You’re welcome.

But wait…there’s more…. let’s not forget the other cultural phenomenon associated with the letter D…..

DINGO….cause as it turns out, we all learned back in July that the dingo did eat the baby

Right? Who remembered that our beloved Meryl Streep starred in this classic...about the mother who claimed the dingo ate her baby

But we can’t end on such a sad note….poor dingo eaten baby….no no……the letter D brings us none other than DORKS..that’s right…the Gallagher sisters also completely UNCENSORED….circa Easter 1985…..the two youngest have the unfair advantage of clear angelic youth on their side while the eldest two are victims of Dorothy Hammel haircuts and questionable fashion choices. I will let you decide which one is moi:

 Before we end for the day, however, I feel it my civic duty to share with you my two fav someecards posted on the ever-famous Wired Momma Facebook page this week. If you haven’t liked this page, mon Dieu, I urge you to do so pronto.

Adventure Theatre’s “Big, The Musical”

Last Sunday, I was so grateful we had afternoon plans to go see “Big, The Musical” at Adventure Theatre MTC in Glen Echo Park. It was so rainy and so cold – it was fortuitous that we made such great indoor plans before knowing how dreadful the weather would be.

The cast of the musical Big. Photo Credit: Adventure Theatre MTC

I was also excited about embarking upon this Important Wired Momma Business Affair because I had a dear friend, Christiana, in town from Chicago and she is a true musical theater lover – so what a treat to take her to one of my fav children’s theaters of all time. Now full disclosure – heading into this production, I had some reservations about bringing my girls. They are now almost 7 and almost 4 and I worried the subject matter would be too mature for them but the show is recommended for kids ages 5 and older. I’ve been pushing it with the youngest Wired Momma’ette for a few years now, so what’s one more rainy day with a musical distraction, I reasoned?

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that sometimes, it’s best to trust one’s gut and the theatre’s age recommendations….but let’s be honest, my number was bound to be up on that lesson.

As it turns out, “Big, The Musical” is the first show at Adventure Theatre that I’ve seen starring actual children….real….live….children. This was a big change and one that I think, in particular, will appeal to the area tweens if they haven’t yet seen this production. My almost seven-year-old also delighted in seeing young tweens on stage and I think it further inspired her love of theatre and music. That said, I actually totally disagree with the Adventure Theatre on their age recommendations and honestly think this production is suited for those at least  9 years old and up.

First, as any child of the 80s knows, the subject matter of “Big” is just too complex for the younger kids in the audience. I admire Adventure Theatre

Creative recreation of Zoltar for the musical Big. Photo Credit: Adventure Theatre

for such an ambitious program; to tackle a Hollywood movie hit, that was later adapted for Broadway in the late 90s, to then pair it down to a 80-minute production for young audiences is no small feat. The set was simple, the wardrobe well suited to the 80s movie we all recall and the famous Zoltar was outfitted in the most creative and colorful costume in the production. Adventure Theatre also incorporated multi-media in this production which I thought was an interesting and dynamic touch.

I hadn’t seen the movie probably since the late 80s and must admit, the idea that young 12 year-old Josh Baskin (played by Marley McKay) would essentially go missing and his mother (played by Kate Fisher) would be satisfied with one call from him noting that he needs some time and will be back in a few weeks, now seems absolutely ludicrous to adult, parent moi. I bought it as a tween back in Tom Hanks’ day, however. Neither of my kids noted this as unusual or problematic.

I eagerly awaited the iconic piano scene from FAO Schwarz and wondered how this production would recreate it – and they did a pretty good job. Adult Josh (played by Greg Maheu) exuberantly portrays a child-like adult who happily joins MacMillan Toys CEO (played by Lawrence Munsey) on the floor piano for a rendition of Chopsticks. Maheu has no small task in front of him, taking on a role that requires child like gestures and enthusiasm while functioning in the adult world. I thought he did it very well and portrayed a convincing and believable child-adult.

Here’s where I cut to the Wired Momma children, however, and note that all of this was racing over their heads, and it was only the mixing in of dynamic and well sung dancing scenes and colorful toys that they wanted to play with, that enabled me to keep them seated and somewhat engaged during the 80-minute production. Again, I take the blame for bringing my youngest but given the age of the child actors in this production and the content of the show, I really believe that unless you have a 4th grader on up, this is not the production for you. I almost found myself wondering if Adventure Theatre is remodeling its approach to children’s theater in this area but a quick look at their upcoming shows makes me think they are not. The flip side is that I think it’s really nice and refreshing to actually see children performing in a children’s theatre, and I think the kids themselves really like to see that on stage, so if I did have older kids – this would be a show I would absolutely take them too.

“Big, The Musical” is only running through October 28. Tickets are $19 each and can be purchased online. The Wired Momma kids are really looking forward to the next production, The Little House Christmas, because they are still talking about last year’s Christmas show.

Disclosure: Adventure Theatre MTC gifted the tickets to me. My opinions here are all my own.

Reviews…Glorious Online Reviews

Confession: I am a review addict. Anytime I am making an online purchase – I troll the reviews. I find myself asking myself – why do I trust the words of someone I don’t know. I could run into this person on the street and not know them but they tell me it sucks and I’m inclined to believe them. Their words take on even more powerful meaning when I am trolling the pricier sites. Anthropologie or Nordstrom – you better believe I am reading every single review on there and even tracking the inconsistencies. I might even note who I find more believable or try to assess who has a body type most like mine. Sometimes I wonder why their reviews are so short…give me more details…I am hungry for more….

#Psycho?

Maybe. But these are my hard-earned dollars. And I hate – LOATHE – DESPISE – making a return. Seriously. Even with free shipping.

So I rely on the online reviews.

Am I alone in this?

Now, I feel that this is probably not the most ideal time to note that I, myself, have never written an online review on a site about something I’ve purchased – yet I am DEEPLY disappointed when something I want hasn’t yet received a review.

Why hello two-way street…..I’m riding this one only in one direction.

C’est vrai.

Is anyone else as hypocritical as moi?

Don’t be. We’re counting on your review.

Seriously – do you love online reviews? Do you write them or just read them? Do you believe them? Do you over think them like just maybe- I do?

As part of my blogging partnership with Restaurant.com, I am super excited to let you know that they’ve just started including online reviews on their site.

When it comes to eating out, which is now well-documented that I LOVE to do, specifically without my children, and often without my husband (Sorry Mr. Wired Momma), I don’t want to waste my time or calories, so I also rely pretty heavily on word of mouth and online reviews. What I like about the new online reviews added to Restauarnt.com’s site is that they are absolutely authentic and posted by verified diners.

So how do you know this person is a verified diner? Well, following the validation of a Restaurant.com certificate, the diner who purchased the deal is prompted to award the restaurant a star rating of 1-5 and post their feedback.  Only individuals who purchased and redeemed a Restaurant.com certificate at that restaurant are invited to submit reviews and these reviews are focused on the restaurant experience. The stars are awarded only by diners, never by anonymous web users, making this an entirely authentic, user-generated review that you can rely on.

You can also search the Restaurant.com database by location or by star rating, which is a great feature because at least I generally know what level of restaurant I am on the hunt for before I embark – I know if it’s a low-budget night, a middle of the road or a special occasion. So this strikes me as a great new feature.

With that, enjoy this new feature on Restaurant.com, and please, don’t be like moi…..keep up the reviews……I love them! Now tell me- have you ever written an online review? Do you rely on them like I do? I’d really love to know. And be honest – are you a jerk like me or do you actually take the time to review back?

Disclosure: I am a paid blogging ambassador for Restaurant.com but my opinions here are all my own.