A post filled with “Did You Knows” all about child and maternal health

When you learn you are pregnant, especially that first time, what is one of the first things you do?

I can tell you what I did. I turned to the internet for information and what site is a newly pregnant woman’s best friend other than Baby Center?

So now imagine your life without those weekly emails telling you that your baby is the size of a grapefruit or plum.

Imagine not only having no access to that information but imagine having no real access to any information at all because, well, you can’t read.

About two weeks ago, I spent a few days as a Fellow at the UN Foundation’s Shot@Life Social Good conference and honestly, I haven’t stopped thinking about all that I learned. I’m describing many women in Bangladesh in the above scenario. But that’s just one example of what we learned. The reality is, there are millions of women around the world with little to no access to factual medical information about their pregnancies or how to care for their babies but mobile phone technology, in particular, is changing that. Just as there are hundreds of thousands of children struggling to make it to their 5th birthdays without access to life-saving immunizations.

What’s remarkable is meeting and listening to just some of the people working hard to change all of the above.

First, with women. During the conference, we heard from Carla Koppell, who aside from having the title I totally covet, Senior Coordinator for Gender Equality and Women’s Empowerment at USAID, really enlightened us. She noted that child and maternal health is the biggest investment of USAID. #DidYouKnow?

Even further, despite the fact that Americans commonly believe that anywhere from 10-25% of the federal budget goes to foreign aid, really that amount hovers around a mere 1%.  Ms. Koppell went on to explain that robust economic growth in developing countries and women’s development go hand-in-hand. This should shock none of us – women’s empowerment is essential to the development of a community. Turns out that women in developing countries will reinvest up to 90% of their income back into their family and their community and for men – that figure is about 25%. And for every additional year a girl goes to school, she decreases her unwanted children by 2.2. We learned that women leaders can be our greatest advocates – again – is anyone shocked? Ms. Koppell gave an example of how women in parliament in Uganda blocked their country’s budget until health clinics were funded. Wouldn’t it be inspiring to see the women in Congress this year band together to block something that benefits women and children?

And further, she drove home a critically important point – one that I believe is just as true in the United States as it is anywhere else – that gender equality must also address men and boys. For example, boys are falling behind in education in Latin America, which increases their chances of violence.

Another fun fact – this one from Victoria Esser of the State Department….the State Department tweets in 11 different languages. That is just cool.

Photo Credit: Mobile Alliance for Maternal Action

One of my favorite speakers was Kirsten Gagnaire, Global Director of the Mobile Alliance for Maternal Action (MAMA).  MAMA is a private-public funded organization and one of their slogans is “Mobile Messages put the power of health in every MAMA’s hand.”

#DidYouKnow that mobile technology is educating women around the world?

Essentially, MAMA recognized, in part under the leadership of former Secretary Hillary Clinton, that approximately 1 billion women in low and middle-income countries own mobile phones. And if a pregnant woman herself doesn’t have access to a phone, someone she knows does, be it her husband, her mother-in-law, etc. Add to that these  facts about the prevalence of mobile phones:  every day there are 1,000 women that do not survive child-birth or pregnancy, 2 out of every 5 children die during the first month of life. And about 21 children each minute die every day mainly from preventable causes.

#SorryIfThisDepressesYou

So enter MAMA – this organization is empowering women to make health decisions for themselves and their babies through mobile phone messages. Instead of logging on to their email accounts and receiving the weekly Baby Center update, these women can receive voice messages via cell phone. In the specific example of Bangladesh – not only did MAMA learn they need to develop voice messages for the pregnant women but they needed to respect the culture and also develop messages for husbands and mothers-in-law.

Stop for a minute.

Can you imagine that one? Relying upon only your mother-in-law to receive factual information about your pregnancy?

I’ll let you think about that for a minute. I had a few days to mull that one over. Frankly I still haven’t let it go.

Ms. Gagnaire showed us this short two-minute video of how mobile messages have women in Bangladesh and I highly recommend viewing it just for some perspective. The woman featured is a loving mother just like any of us – except she is hungry to learn – and is just now getting access to real information. Until she started receiving these messages, she didn’t know that it’s good for her baby starting around 3 months for her to make eye contact with the baby. These are women who aren’t fretting about whether they are helicopter parents or if their baby will get into your top choice preschool or adjust well to a big-girl bed – they are just trying to get through the day and keep everyone alive and healthy.

#KeepItAllInPerspective,Everyone

Ms. Gagnaire opened her talk with noting that in many countries, information on pregnancy and motherhood is based on myths.

Photo Credit: Shot@Life

Now let’s shift gears to the kids. What I have long admired about the UN Foundation’s Shot@Life campaign is that motivating others to advocate and donate on behalf of immunizing children not only saves a child’s life but it also saves a mother – none of us want to even consider a world without our kids in it. #DidYouKnow that according to Shot@Life, some moms walk as far as 15-miles to reach life-saving vaccines for their kids? Two of the most common causes of child death – pneumonia and diarrhea – can be largely prevented by existing vaccines. Expanding access to vaccines can prevent an additional 1.5 million deaths each year.  You can participate by being an advocate, emailing your Member of Congress, or just donating a small amount — the Shot@Life campaign makes it so easy, just click here.

Photo Credit: Hope Phones

Finally — I have barely covered the surface of all that we learned during this conference – but I wanted to leave you with one more thing. If you are at all interested in the power of how mobile phones are transforming access to health overseas, then you can help too by donating your old phones to Hope Phones. This charity was founded by an enterprising man who as a young college student realized that mobile phones are helping people in the developing world.  You can print a mailing label from your own home, mail in your old phone at no cost to you, then Hope Phones ensures it is recycled properly and then transfers the value of the parts of your recycled phone into funds to provide health workers in communities overseas with phones. From the Hope Phones site: if we can recycle just 1% of disposed phones each year, we can outfit 1 million health workers, improving the lives of 50 million people.

I hope you found today’s “Did You Know” themed post interesting and informative. Please keep these organizations in mind when you consider donating to a good cause. And as always, I’d love for you to “Like” the Wired  Momma Facebook page.

Helicopter Parenting vs. Drone Parenting

Greetings friends! Today I am THRILLED to open up the pages of WM to my first-ever guest poster, Heather Craw. She hails from the DC area and blogs at Put That On Your Blog – which is a blog title that I LOVE. Heather has 20 month old twins and a five-year old. And I could absolutely relate with her piece below, it made me laugh out loud in parts. In fact, it lines up nicely with a blog post I’ve had running through my head for a while now and so she’s inspired me to get it written. And spoiler alert – it also has to do with leaving a kid in the car.

Please welcome Heather, check out her fabulous blog and please – any others interesting in contributing a guest post here – please send them my way at wiredmomma@me.com

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A few weeks ago, I took my Peppers with me on my errands while Fluffy and Salty were with the babysitter.  He was so delighted to be out on a date with Mommy.  Not a peep of protest did he make the whole way to the mall–very unusual for him.  He was so quiet and content, that I got all the way inside the mall before my brain screamed PEPPERS! 

Heather’s son..he looks like he survived the incident in question…..

Yes, I had forgotten he was with me, gone into efficient errand running mode, and left him in the car in the parking garage.  I was like Catherine O’Hara in Home Alone bolting up in her airplane seat exclaiming, “Kevin!”

So I book it back out into the garage praying he is still there and safe.  I never leave the kids in the car without someone watching.  I run down the rows of cars to where I’d parked.  The car is gone.  Oh no!  Someone’s stolen the car with him in it!  No, is this the right lane?  I mash the keyless entry looking for the lights to flash on my car.  Nothing.  Not this row, not the next, or the next.  I run back to where I started and try again.  No lights.  It occurs to me that I’m unlocking the car for any opportunistic pedophile, baby-snatcher, car thief to just pop right in.  I switch to locking the door.  Mash, mash, mash, row after row.  The car is gone.

Wait, what is that sound?  I hear far away honking when I mash the lock.  It’s coming from beneath me!  My panic-addled brains have brought me to the wrong level.  I dash back to the stairs, and down them.  I run to the right row, and there, at last my car’s lights are flashing before me.

From the first PEPPERS! moment, I’ve been having an internal argument.  One voice says, You’ve left him.  You’ll never see him again.  It’s your fault.  The other voice says, He’s fine.  It’s no big deal.  People leave kids in the car for 5 minutes all the time. Your mom left you in the car all the time.

That is true.  My mom regularly left the three and later four of us in the parking lot of Albertson’s while she did her grocery shopping.  It quickly devolved into Lord of the Flies in a maxi-van, but she brought us cookies in the end, so all’s well that ends well.  Except for that time my cousin Bethany burned her finger by sticking it into the heated cigarette lighter, but whatever.

Now, parenting norms have definitely changed. Leaving your kids in the car is neglect or child endangerment.  I sometimes think I’m a bit silly hovering over my kids on the playground, micromanaging their every slide.  My mom wouldn’t have dreamed of such a thing.  We spent hours or days swinging unsupervised on an old swing set that travelled around if you swung very hard or high on it.  Our swing set also had a slide that you could use if you could clear the jagged, rusty, torn part at the top.  And we turned out fine, right?

I loved when the roads iced over and my dad would let me ski to school on my shoes while holding onto the tailgate of his truck. Those were the days, weren’t they?

One year for my brother’s birthday–I think he was turning 9 which would make me 10, my dad drove my siblings, my cousins, and me up into the hills over our town to go sledding.  He dropped us off with inner tubes, sleds and some thermos’ of hot chocolate, and told us he’d be back in a couple of hours.  It’s all fun and games until somebody breaks a bone–or in this case, two.  About ninety minutes in, my brother flew up on the sled and landed on his leg snapping his tibia and fibula, both the bones in his lower leg.  We all ran down to the bottom of the hill to see what had happened.

In addition to being my best friend in the world, my brother was a tough kid.  He might have screamed at first, I don’t remember, but I remember that the vast majority of the time, he made no noise.  He just rocked back and forth over his mangled leg without making any sound.

We looked around at each other.  I remember thinking, Somebody has to come up with a plan.  Somebody has to think of something.  In the movies, somebody comes up with a plan.  “Let’s put him on the sled and pull him up the hill to the road.  Then we can try to pull him into town.”  It’s me giving the orders.  I try to say it with authority like I’m the calm one who figures this out.

We try to move him onto the sled, but it’s a non-starter.  He’s in so much pain, he can’t bare to be lifted or even touched, let alone pulled anywhere on the sled.  I try to explain it to him. He’s still not talking.  He just shakes his head violently and rocks over his leg.

It wasn’t a good idea anyway.  We’re miles from town.  It would take us hours to walk back, and my dad should be back before we could get him down.  Someone suggests going for help, but we’re not really sure of the trails up here and no one wants to get lost.

Quickly we realize our only real option is to wait.  The minutes crawl by.  After the flurry of panic and discussion dies down, we all stand around him stupid and silent as Johnny rocks and rocks.  The whole time I’m praying, half to God, half to my parents:

Mom?  Dad!  Where are you?  Come.  Back.

An eternity later my Dad pulls up.  He carts John off in the van and my mom drives him 17 miles to Beaver, the nearest town with a hospital.  For some reason I don’t recall, they send them to Panguitch in my mom’s van rather than an ambulance.  My mom says he didn’t talk or scream the whole 47 miles from Beaver to Panguitch, though he did yelp a couple of times on the bumps through the mountains.

Because John healed fine, that day didn’t become a defining moment in my childhood.  Instead, this story just became my card to play when someone played the broken bones suit in conversation.  Sometimes it took the trick, but not even that often.  Later when I certified as a lifeguard, I would think back on that day with horror.  It could have been his head.  It could have been a compound fracture, and he could have bled out.  He could have gone fully into shock.  He could have died.

For decades, it never occurred to me to look back on my mom and dad’s laissez-faire parenting that day with any kind of reproach.  None of my friends would leave their kids in the mountains alone for hours now, but my parents certainly exercised the standard of care for the time and place of my childhood.  That is also why kids I grew up with almost drowned in the flood control and shattered their ankles cliff jumping–and how my cousin Chris tore half his face off in a three-wheeler accident.  The doctors were able to sew it back on, fortunately, so my cousins all kept on ATV’ing.

As I run to the car in the parking garage, I’m thinking, Peppers is fine.  People leave their kids in the car all the time.  Your mom left you in the car all the time, and you were fine.  But I don’t believe me.  I see my brother’s distorted, gritted, purpled face as he writhes and rocks in wordless agony in the snow.

I make out the outline of Peppers inside the tinted windows.  Thank God.  I open the door.  He looks at me with round mild eyes absent of reproach and reaches out.  I tear off his straps and smashmouth kiss him full on the lips. I crush him to my chest.  My Peppers, my Peppers.  My little, bittle guy.

Moms like to discuss safety.  Sometimes we detail the many ways we’re keeping our kids from danger to show each other and ourselves that we’re good, conscientious, responsible parents.  Other times we brag about how hands-off and non-hovering we are compared to other moms.  Our kids won’t grow up stiffled and unable to dress themselves.  Pfft!  I guess I’m somewhere in the middle of the pack, really.  There will be no more leaving kids in cars, though.  No unsurveilled sledding and no three wheelers either.

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Thank you to Heather! What do you think? Do you struggle to find the line between helicopter and drone parenting?

 

Gender Stereotypes: Kids, Clothes, Toys and the Box we put them in

Isn’t it so cliché to talk about how kids give us more than we ever give them? And some days, I think what they give me is a lost mind and fried nerves. Not only is it cliché but it also romanticizes the gritty reality of parenting.

But the thing is, it’s also true.

Now does she scream sugar and spice and everything nice? Unicorn dreams?

My barely 4-year-old has pushed me out of the box in thinking and opened my eyes to the pervasive gender stereotyping our culture pushes on extremely young children. And she started doing this before she was one, when she was busy climbing fences trying to get into the neighbor’s yard or kicking a soccer ball around the back yard. She was busy and fast and physical from the beginning. Moms of boys would say to me “Oh, you’re so lucky you have girls, they’re so much easier than boys, I am exhausted at the end of the day.”

And I’d think about that time my toddler had a neighbor boy crying in fear because she showed up at his house in a Batman costume. And I’d wonder why as women, they’d want to continue this absurd gender stereotyping. The truth is, we’re all guilty of it, and I wasn’t aware of just how guilty I was of it until my youngest came along.

She’s taught me and reminded me the following:

  • Girls are physical
  • Girls love to play in dirt and mud and dig for worms
  • Girls don’t all love pink
  • Girls don’t necessarily want to play with dolls
  • Girls love superheroes
  • Girls love pirates
  • Girls love dragons and knights and castles (castles that have cannons not princesses)
  • Girls love dinosaurs

Ever take a toddler who doesn’t fit the mold to Target or the Gap or Toys’r’Us?

I have. And you know what happens – they wander into the boy section even though they are girls and they want what they see in the boy section. But then they want to know why they are” boy things” and in their own little innocent way, they want to know if it’s okay that they want the boy clothes and the boy toys even though they are girls?

Ever try to buy a birthday card for a super hero loving little girl? Try finding one that doesn’t say “Happy Birthday Boy”  — it isn’t so easy.

These gender stereotypes we shove our kids into is something I’ve written about on many occasions. I’ve trashed the Gap for selling two piece bikinis to 3-year-old girls and superhero swimsuits to 3-year-old boys. I’ve done a creepy whisper video-blog from inside Target trashing their gender stereotypes in Halloween clothes. I’ve wondered why everyone thinks it’s so cool that my little girl is a hardcore tomboy but almost no one is comfortable letting their four-year-old boy out wearing a princess dress or pink nail polish. What about that one? Why is it cool to assign masculine tendencies to a girl but an embarrassment for a little boy to show an interest in things we think of as “girlish”? One is weak, the other is strong?

Really? Because I think my oldest, a very feminine girly-girl, is also strong and physical and amazing.

Way to go, Old Navy. I’ll come back again, and much sooner than before, because you’ve given me a great reason too.

So yesterday, I walked into Old Navy, not thinking about any of these things because I was ALONE and could actually, well, THINK.

And what did I find?
I found an entire section of super hero t-shirts for girls. And not shirts with slutty looking female heroines in bright pink. I found cool, edgy batman shirts and a Wonder Woman shirt. I found t-shirts with skeletons on them. I found a shirt that said “I love soccer.”

I hit the fashion jackpot for girls that had nothing to do with sparkles and unicorns and princess dreams.

Job WELL DONE Old Navy, whose sister company the Gap still sells that Junkfood t-shirt line that is marketed strictly to boys.

We’re a culture where a site like A Mighty Girl seems to grow daily in popularity and within minutes of them sharing the superhero underwear for little girls, it gets sold out. Yet mainstream retailers are asleep at the wheel.

Except, it seems, Old Navy.

Toy manufacturers and retailers, take note. And think outside the box a little, will you?

“Like” the Wired Momma Facebook page. It’s a fun place to be.

 

 

Disney on Ice Treasure Trove Review

Last night, me and three little girls headed down to the Verizon Center to enjoy the opening of Disney on Ice Treasure Trove. You can imagine the squealing and giggling in the back seat as we inched closer to the arena and the girls knew they were that much closer to their fav Disney characters.

Note – as I was navigating the pouring rain and traffic that comes with it, I suddenly had a flash back to my own childhood and my father driving four girls, and often their friends, around in our VW van, and now I know why he used to yell at us to just be quiet and stop screaming. #SorryDad #FullCircle

Before the show started, the girls were treated to the media opening night party, themed around the Mad Hatter and my youngest just about jumped out of her skin when these two love birds showed up:

A big thank you to Feld Entertainment, who produces the Disney on Ice shows, for organizing such a fun and memorable opening night party!

Now onto the show. Honestly, the Disney on Ice at Verizon Center is always my favorite of the two Disney on Ice productions we get in town each year. They never miss a detail and the show varies greatly from year to year. I am pegging last night’s as the night for animal lovers and amazing costumes. In almost every set, there was at least one remarkably cool, dramatic and creative animal that stole the segment. For example, get a load of this amazing croc from the Peter Pan set:

Not the best photography, admittedly, but how remarkable is that croc?

And how about this elephant from the Aladdin set:

Again, not award winning photo-journalism, but you see the size of that Elephant? Imagine skating him….and doing it well?

Unfortunately I didn’t capture really good decent pictures from the Lion King set but the animal costumes in the “Circle of Life” scene were etherial and elegant – much more creative than simply people wearing an animal costume.

Only the Grinch could possibly not love the “Under the Sea” song from The Little Mermaid and though I’ve seen it in almost every Disney on Ice production (because how can you resist it, frankly), last night’s glowing neon fish costumes in contrast with the bright red Sebastian were outstanding.

Photo Credit: Feld Entertainment

So aside from the awesome animals, what else can you expect from the production? First – if you have a house that loves Disney but not necessarily the Princesses, then this is definitely the show for you. I was delighted to see other story lines from Disney featured more prominently;  Princesses don’t even enter until near the end of the show.  After an opening act from The Incredibles, Alice in Wonderland takes the stage. The rabbit is one of my favorite fairy tale characters because, frankly, he most resembles moi. Together, we are ALWAYS LATE. He was, again, fretting about being late last night but it was the Queen of Hearts with her card soldiers that brought the “Wow” factor to this particular act. Each card was double-sided, including faces and their skates, with the red or black suit on the front or back of their skates, so it always looked like a card-soldier was skating towards you, even if he was actually skating backward. Super cool, people. Super cool.

Next onto the ice came the evil Captain Hook and his sidekick Mr. Smee.

#AmIAloneInWishingMyNameWasSmee?

The rousing rendition of the “Pirates Life for Me”they performed struck a chord with my group as it is a family theme song chez moi, and we all love Tinkerbelle, so we were delighted to see this act. The Lost Boys entertained with the fantastic “We’re Following the Leader” song and the skunk Lost Boy took the lead as the family fav for us. Personally, I’d like to make an entrance sometime like Tinkerbelle, suspended in the air, flitting around sprinkling magic pixie dust. It seems fitting and appropriate.

One wonders, why hasn’t this happened to me yet?

Tink knows the “wow” factor with her entrance

Intermission began 45 minutes after the show started and that’s when all parents start bleeding cash, $12 for cotton candy (seriously, insane), $30 for a Disney princess doll, unless you can avoid the vendors completely by not even exiting at intermission, which frankly is my advice. Though cotton candy guy got me at a weak moment in our seats. The second act is quite honestly, jam-packed. It opens with our beloved Lion King, moves onto Snow White and so begins the princesses. Interestingly, each princess is given just a quick song instead of the more developed stories that came with Alice, Peter Pan and the Lion King. Snow White is given the most ice time and then Aladdin and Jasmine,  Ariel and Sebastian, Tangled and finally Tiana from Princess and the Frog. In total, the show is almost two hours long, including intermission time, so if you go to the 7:30pm show, it’s around 9:30pm before you’re out of there.

My crew was riveted the entire time, my four-year-old never once attempted to doze off or ask to leave – making this the first fully successful evening performance for our family. As with any Disney production, it is exceptionally well done, this one will appeal to boys and girls alike because it really is so Princess-light until the bitter end, which I was grateful for, honestly. There is more to life than Princesses, gals. On that note, be sure to “Like” the Wired Momma Facebook page to keep up with the occasional kid-outing review and other fun and exciting parenting commentary. Or really, just hilarious Some-ECards that I stumble upon.

Disney on Ice Treasure Trove will be performed at the Verizon Center through February 18 – an excellent long weekend activity – here’s a breakdown of show times and how to purchase tickets:

Show Times:
Thursday, February 14th @ 10:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m.
Friday, February 15th @ 7:30 p.m.
Saturday, February 16th @ 10:30 a.m. 2:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m.
Sunday, February 17th @ 12:30 p.m. and 4:30 p.m.
Monday, February 18th @ 12:30 p.m.

Venue/Ticket Information:
Tickets are on-sale now and can be purchased at all Ticketmaster outlets via charge by phone at 1-800-745-3000; via www.ticketmaster.com <http://www.ticketmaster.com> ; and at the Verizon Center box office.

Verizon Center Ticket Prices: $80.00 (Front Row)/ $55.00 (VIP)/ $30.00 / $20.00
To discover more about Disney On Ice, go to www.disneyonice.com

Disclosure: Feld Entertainment gifted the tickets to me. My opinions here are all my own.