School Bus Safety

Do you have a child who rides the school bus to school? Even just on occasion?

Then I’m going to guess you’ll be interested in today’s blog post.  Let’s first start with a quiz.

Learn your bus policies.

Learn your bus policies.

1. Do you know the policy in your school district for leaving children at a bus stop without an adult present?

2. Does your child know what to do if the school bus driver never pulls up to your bus stop?

If you don’t have definitive answers to either of the above questions, which until last week, I actually didn’t either, then you’ll definitely need to keep reading on.

I can only speak to Montgomery County – I do not know what other county’s policies are but I would love to know – but in Montgomery County, MD – it is the policy that any child who is not a special needs child can be left at a bus stop with no adults present. This includes kindergarteners. There was some confusion in my home school last week, most parents seemed to think they can’t leave a kindergartener. But they can. It is policy. It is the beginning of our third year with MCPS and I did not know this policy until last week. I accept responsibility for it – I made assumptions – incorrect assumptions. I should have known this.

Also, I had thought through and talked with my daughter about what to do if mommy isn’t at the bus stop and who she can leave with. What had never occurred to me to talk with her about is what to do if the bus driver never drives to her stop.

Guess what kids, this can happen to you because it happened to me and it happened again to another bus route in our same lone school just yesterday. Humans make mistakes. Bus drivers make mistakes, bus depots give bus drivers the wrong route sheet, mistakes happen – but when they suddenly happen to you and your 7-year-old is the one wandering a neighborhood without any adults, a half mile from her bus stop – suddenly – you care.

Cause that happened to my kid. And the 17 other elementary school aged kids who got off the bus last week because, as we now know, the substitute bus driver didn’t have the right route sheet and never came to their stop.

All the drama and the phone calls and the meetings and emails – those details aren’t relevant right now. What is relevant is the huge learning experience here. Now my kid, now she knows VERY CLEARLY that she is not allowed to get off a bus stop that isn’t hers, even if every other kid from her stop is getting off at the wrong stop, even if the bus patrol tells her she will walk her home, we’ve instructed her to stay on the bus and ask the driver to take her back to school.

This might be a big request for a kindergartener but it’s a scenario you should talk through and be prepared for if your child rides a school bus.  Do not assume bus drivers know which stops children belong with, who should be waiting for them, or that they’ve missed a stop. Apparently, telling the child who they can leave with at a stop if something happens and their caregiver isn’t there, isn’t enough.

As I think about the Montgomery County school policy that authorizes leaving children alone at bus stops without any adult present, I wonder about the law – can parents legally leave 5 year olds home alone?

Why no, they cannot. In fact, my oldest is 7 and according to the state law right here in Montgomery County, MD, I cannot leave her home alone until she is 8 years old yet my public school system can leave her alone at a bus stop?

I’m confused. And mad as hell. But hey, at least I know the policy. Like Wired Momma on Facebook.

 

The Official Guide to a Weekend Get-Away

Have you been to Deep Creek Lake yet?

Sunset over Deep Creek Lake, Labor Day Weekend.

Sunset over Deep Creek Lake, Labor Day Weekend.

Am I beginning to sound like a broken record? Anyone who follows my blog with some degree of regularity knows that every year, we spend Labor Day weekend there with three other couples and 8 kids total. It is an annual HIGHLIGHT.  For all 16 of us. Seriously.

#LoveUsSomeDeepCreek

Why? Why do we love it so? Why do we keep going back? What does it take to plan a great weekend up in Deep Creek?

Fret not, kittens, I will tell you. And today is your LUCKY DAY!!!! For those who enjoy my rare but always fabulous (Thanks to Born Lucky Studios) video blogs, I’ve got a new one in store for you today, so don’t miss out. It is 50 seconds of your life. And it will be GLORIOUS.

#Seriously

#MakeSureYouWatch

#SpoilerAlert:ItIncludesSynchronizedSwimming

Step One: How the hell do I find a great house to rent?

Ahh yes, never an easy question. We are four years in and we’re still sorting through what makes the perfect group house for a long weekend.  We all have to compromise. There are 8 adults in our group. We all have opinions. Not all of them are the same. But we share one thing in common: the quest for the PERFECT home that we can keep renting each summer. Or – alternately – a wish that someone would just throw down the cash to buy a home up there. No one has yet done this.

#MorganFamily? #HintHint

Best place in DCL to rent a home from

Best place in DCL to rent a home from

When looking to rent, for the past two years, we’ve turned to Railey Mountain Lake Vacations for the following reasons:

  • They hold the largest inventory of homes in the Deep Creek area;
  • They have a wide variety of price points in rental homes;
  • The company is staffed with helpful and  accommodating employees;
  • It is the smoothest and quickest check in process I’ve ever experienced with a home rental.

In fact, this year, for sport, I was going to time the check-in process, except by the time I whipped out my iPhone and found the clock to start the timer, I’d already been checked in, handed the keys, given a map, and grabbed some free bags of popcorn for the always-scrounging-for-a-snack children in the backseat of our car.

What I can tell you is that while the home we rented last month was absolutely not our dream home, we still learned valuable lessons in how to fine-tune our search.

My advice to you is to consider – do you want a water view with no tree obstruction or a more wooded but obstructed view of the lake? Do you want a really developed outdoor living space with a big fire pit and lots of chairs or are you looking more for several big family rooms inside? Do you want a bedroom for each couple and then the kids have their own room or are the kids still young and you’ll do better with several master suites, putting the kids on the floor?  Look, we’ve tried all these variations.

Fun Facts about Maryland's Lake Tahoe

Fun Facts about Maryland’s Lake Tahoe

This past Labor Day, we went for the totally unobstructed view of the lake and a flat big yard for the kids to play, along with a direct shot to the lake. In past years, we didn’t mind a slope or hilly descent down to the lake because it disrupted a younger child’s ability to just dash into the water. Now our girls are all big enough that we felt more confident in giving them easy and quick access to the lake and we wanted to wake up in the morning and have a glorious view with no trees in our way. We also really thought the kids would get a ton of use out of a big, flat yard (and they did).

We were right in some respects but we also learned this: it turns out exactly where your home is located on the lake really matters if you don’t care for high traffic areas. The particular home we rented was in a high traffic area and honestly, we like feeling like we’re removed from busy lives during our annual Labor Day get-away.  In previous years, we’d always been tucked away into a quiet corner of the lake – and it turns out – we just never thought to ask specifically about its location on the lake. There you have it, four years in and we learned a lesson.

Want to know what else we got wrong? This is a big one. We learned this one the hard way. When renting a home, I would urge you to ask this question: Who cleans the home prior to your arrival? Every year we’ve always had lovely, perfectly clean homes. Naively, it never occurred to us that we wouldn’t have a sparkling, clean home. Guess what?

Oh. That happened.

The home we rented was old, it hadn’t been kept up in repairs and it was not clean. Not anywhere near what we considered an acceptable level. When I checked out, I asked to speak with a Railey rep and she was incredibly apologetic and open to hearing my long list of complaints. Then she noted the house is new in their inventory and the home owner refuses to use their cleaning service and insists on using his own cleaning service.

#MajorRedFlag

Don't you want to join us?

Don’t you want to join us?

Might I suggest they are a cleaning service that exists only in the home-owner’s head but not in reality?

That being said – this is a VALUABLE learning experience that I hope you will apply to your own rental experiences:  WHO CLEANS THE HOME. From our experience, not only will it be a future first question but if the answer is “the home owner provides their own service” – then our response will be the following:  “Oh hell no…moving on to the next property.”

What did Railey Mountain Lake Vacations do about my long list of complaints, you might be wondering? Christmas came early, kids. About 10 days after our vacation, I received a check in the mail, it was a refund of about $500. I’m not sure how they arrived at this amount but we were happy to take it. I suggested to Mr. WM that we start a Deep Creek fund and put it in the bank. He ignored me, noted that we aren’t a commune or cult, and proceeded to write checks and divvy up the refund between our friends.

I thought we’d all be super psyched when next summer rolls around and we have basically boat rental money sitting there waiting for us. Anyone else with me? Bueller?

Okay, so given the fact that I keep reminding you just how many times we’ve had amazing trips to DCL, I’m going to offer you two more things. The Know-It-All top 10 list of what you should do during a weekend up there and the dramatic denouement of this brilliant blog post: a 50 second view, an insider’s peek, if you will, of what really goes down when we hit DCL each Labor Day.

#WhatHappensinDeepCreek,Doesn’tStayinDCL

Step Two: The Quick & Dirty Deep Creek Lake Bucket List

1. Boat rentals with tubes are a must-do for adult and kid fun;

The WM DCL Bucket List

The WM DCL Bucket List

2.  Rent a home with a hot tub;

3.  Grab at least one meal at the Mountain State Brewery – between the delicious pizza, the outdoor play space for kids, mountain and sunflower field views and fantastic beer;

4. There is no better people watching than the Honi-Honi. Just trust me. Oh. And it’s more fun to park your boat there than your car;

5. The Mountain Coaster at WISP. Personally, I hate it, but it’s like catnip for husbands and children;

6. Swallow Falls State Park. Trust me. Just go hike it and enjoy the views;

7. Swim in the lake. Again, just trust me. It is like an annual cathartic cleansing ritual for us;

8. Campfires and s’mores in the evening;

9. Take the chairlift to the top of WISP and hike around;

10. Deep Creek is a year-round destination, if you missed out over the summer, then head there for beautiful sweeping views and great hikes this fall or for skiing through the winter and early spring. As Mr. WM aptly said years ago, Deep Creek is Maryland’s very own Lake Tahoe.

With that, behold, our weekend in 50 seconds:

 

 Disclosure: Railey Mountain Lake Vacations offered us a discount on our rental property in exchange for writing about our experience. My opinions here are all my own.

Public School vs. Private School: Does one choice make you a “bad” parent?

“The fact of the matter is that this is about the kids in those schools for whom this is their life,” passionately stated education policy wonk Lisa Graham Keegan when I called her up last month to ask about a recent article about public or private schools that was taking the internet by storm.

In case you missed it, last month, an article on Slate magazine caught on fire for its titillating headline and broad sweeping statements. After telling parents who opt for private school that they are bad, not-quite-serial-killer-bad but flirting with it if they send their kids to private school, Allison Benedikt went on to argue that if everyone would send their kids to public school, sure, it might totally suck for those kids now but if we all go all-in, we’ll all be invested and ultimately, we’ll have a nation of first-rate public schools.

#Communism,anyone?

Like just about everyone else, I had a few reactions. One of them was – could she be right? I also thought the author came across like a huge asshole and the editors at Slate wrote a brilliant headline to draw in high web site traffic numbers – but cutting through the sensationalism of her piece – for days I kept wondering – could there be truth in her argument?

No need to line up my image next to this guy, I went public. Right? Umm....

No need to line up my image next to this guy, I went public. Right? Umm….

I’m a believer in public schools. I send my oldest daughter to public school, I will send my younger one-off to public Kindergarten next year. Therefore I could read this article in good conscience, right? Following Benedikt’s logic, I’m not going to be judged next to men who have human heads stashed in their freezers because I went public. I am invested in the good of our system, right?

But see, it’s not that simple. I had the ability to move to a new house last summer and part of that decision was driven by the public elementary, middle and high schools my children would be tracked to attend by virtue of my zip code.

Isn’t this part of the reason why Benedikt’s logic and article kept gnawing at me for days? When you have means, you are self-selecting , when it comes to sending children to public schools. So when it’s self-selection, conveniently couched as public school supporters, do we actually have integrated schools? And do others really have a choice?

#ThisShitIsAboutToGetDeep

I have a general rule of thumb when evaluating what to write about for my blog: if I’m still thinking about it three days later, it’s a blog post.

Obviously the Slate article needed to be turned into a blog post. But I needed more to turn this into a blog post. Though I’m not a reporter, I decided to act like one a bit. Benedikt quickly notes at the start of her piece that she’s “not an education policy wonk.”

Funny, neither am I.

But what makes me different from her is this – I thought – well wouldn’t it be interesting to actually speak to someone who IS an education policy wonk, not to mention a mother who has 5 kids who went to 6 different high schools, some public and some private, and see what she thinks about this argument? Wouldn’t that be useful and constructive for all of us?

Might it be helpful to have an informed debate and conversation about the decisions we make in terms of our children’s education – instead of well – you know, telling thousands of American parents that they’re one step above Jeffrey Dahmer?

I turned to Lisa Graham Keegan. She was an education policy advisor to John McCain during both his presidential campaigns, she’s been an elected official, she even authored much of Arizona’s education reform legislation in the 1990s. To boot, she’s dynamic, funny, smart and interesting. Most importantly, she’s put those 5 kids I just mentioned through high school and has experienced both worlds: public and private. I wanted to know what she had to say.

Also, I really had only one question for her. Here’s what I asked her: “Lisa, do you think there is any merit to the argument that if all parents went all-in, our public schools across the country would eventually improve?”

The following is a synopsis of what Lisa had to say.

  • First, she noted that though the author offered a shallow analysis of the state of our public education system, she also acknowledged that she was grateful for the article. She said that the writer was, in fact, dead on. That if our system for educating children meant we all had to be in the same boat, we all had the amount of money needed for every child and could calculate that individual amount differently based on the child’s need and then let that child go to the school that works for them, then every single one of us would be lobbying for resources and the liberty to choose the school that works for our child. And that issue of choice in schools was at the essence of so much of Lisa’s logic – what we don’t have right now in our country for so many hundreds of thousands of children – is the liberty to choose the right school for the child.
  • On the subject of our school system being integrated, she calls nonsense and actually said the author is living in some mystical universe referring to our nation’s integrated schools. Lisa said that if you took an aerial view of a public school in an urban environment, it sure looks integrated from above. Now walk into the classroom, note which kids are sitting in the advanced placement classes and which ones are not. She referenced a Harvard professor who astutely noted “It’s who you are sitting next to in class that matters.” Keegan acknowledged that our current system is rigged to the advantage of high income zip codes but the answer is not in what the Slate author suggested – to instead be content with low quality schools until they slowly, over time, maybe improve. In fact, she chillingly referred to a McKinsey study that found that we in the United States face a permanent $2 trillion recession from the under-education of our kids. This stopped me dead in my tracks. Were you aware of that figure? Or that grim reality? Are any of us actually okay with this?
  • So what next? What is the answer to improving educational opportunities for all kids? Lisa offered some historical perspective. She said we’ve been getting public school education wrong in this country for generations. We set up a system after World War II and it’s only been in the last five years that real, meaningful and positive change is happening to some inner city schools in some districts that really need the change. And that rapid transformation is happening thanks to charter schools. Lisa said “When you read that article, did your spirit soar? Mine didn’t. But when I walk into one of these public charter schools, schools that can change not just the children but also a community, my spirit soars.”
  • Enter the importance of parents. Lisa talked about Parent Revolution, a movement spurred by parent activists in California who are transforming their schools by fighting for parent trigger laws and opening up charter schools. This movement is slowly spreading across the country to other states. Prior to my talk with Lisa, I was unaware of parent trigger laws and what this can mean for a school district, the students and a community. Naturally I did some research and learned from this web site the following: “In 2010, California passed a “Parent Trigger” law that grants a parent majority (51%) of the state’s worst performing schools the legal right to organize and force changes at their local public school. Parents have 4 new options under the law:
  1. Turnaround: replace the principal and at least half of the teachers.
  2. Restart: convert to a charter school, a public school run by an outside group.
  3. Transformation: replace the principal and adopt a policy to evaluate teachers using student test scores.
  4. Alternative Governance: restructure the school governance so that fundamental overhauls can be made, such as hiring a new teaching staff.”
  • To learn more about California’s Parent Trigger laws and which other states these laws are spreading too, I’d recommend clicking here.
  • As I mentioned previously, at the heart of Lisa’s reaction and response to this Slate piece is the issue of school choice. She reiterated multiple times that we aren’t just talking about mediocre education here, we’re also talking about the safety of kids. In the bucolic settings of many suburban public schools, it’s convenient to think about our grand support of the public school system but she reminded me of the dangers kids in Chicago face in even trying to just walk to school, let alone the quality of their education. But if parents had the ability to choose the right school for their child, maybe things would be different. Keegan noted that it is low income families who are most frequently changing schools for their children because they are the ones so often on the search for a better opportunity and a safer school for their child. She is a supporter of National School Choice Week, which is January 26 – February 1, 2014. During that dedicated week, a diverse and nonpartisan group of educators gather to shine a spotlight on the need for education choice for all kids. If you’re interested in the issue of school choice, you should check out their web site or follow #SCW on Twitter.

So where does this leave us? For me, it leaves me wanting to learn more about the Parent Revolution. It leaves me thinking a little more clearly about the issue of school choice, and recognizing that some of us might have read that Slate piece and patted ourselves on the back for sending our kids to public school but choice is a tricky word. Choice feels pretty empowering when you have means.

This hypnotic ensures a good, quality sleep, does not cause Zolpidem Online side effects and isn’t addictive.

Be sure to hit “Like” on the Wired Momma Facebook page. Thank you, Lisa, for taking the time to talk with me and for anyone else interested in this issue or following the thoughts of an education policy wonk, be sure to follow Lisa on Twitter.

 

Oh NO…NO….You Didn’t….

Here’s the thing about disciplining kids, especially as they get a little older. I find that they rarely do just one outrageous thing that lands them in the dog house. Instead they chip, chip, chip away. Slowly but surely you realize that you’ve been repeating yourself like a broken record for half the day.

“Don’t leave your shoes right there.”
“Why are your shoes still in the same spot.”

“Show me that you are a responsible kid, let’s put your shoes where they belong.”

“Did I REALLY just trip over these same shoes?”

“(Insert Child’s Name Here) GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND PICK UP THESE SHOES. AND LET THIS BE THE LAST TIME I AM ASKING OR YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE SHOES.”

Right?

It’s a slow build. It’s a silent way of being disobedient and disrespectful and if you’re busy and moving through the day, you can forget that repetition is just as obnoxious and rude as overt disobedience.

Last night, I snapped.

It had been one of those days where the girls would play and then chaos would erupt, then we’d settle back down to peace and chaos would quickly erupt again, the tears, the drama, the fighting. These are things that can break your soul on a tired day, right?

By dinner time, I’d had enough. One grabbed herself a popsicle from the freezer, the other deliberately butt-bumped the younger one on the way to refill something by the sink and suddenly there were about half a dozen popsicles from the freezer on the floor.

Me: Pick up the popsicles and put them in the freezer

Child 1: I didn’t do it, she did it.

Child 2: Ignoring it all completely.

Me: Turning away and saying something to their dad because I naively assume one of them will pick up the popsicles they love so much. Surely they wouldn’t want them to melt. Note: popsicles fall out of the freezer pretty  much daily and I am regularly asking them to pick them up and put them away. You see where we are headed.

Let’s just put the above scenario on repeat multiple times over the next few minutes. The children alternating pointing blame at who is responsible for the popsicles on the floor yet neither one of them PICKING THEM UP.

My annoyance rising.

Mr. WM’s annoyance rising.

Then I bark at them to pick them up if anyone actually wants a popsicle and they ignore me.

What happens next, friends? Quite possibly sheer genius. See, in parenting, genius often happens in a flash. You can’t plan for these things, you can’t possibly know how you will react in the moment.

I said “If you don’t pick those popsicle’s up right now, I will take all the popsicle from the floor and the freezer and put them in the trash.”

They both stood there and just stared at me.

And suddenly, I thought, “Holy shit, that is brilliant. OBVIOUSLY I am going to do that” because I am THAT MAD. Frankly, I wondered, why hadn’t this occurred to me sooner??

Sure enough, I stood up, tossed all the ones from the floor in the trash, dramatically opened the freezer, grabbed another handful of popsicles, theatrically tossed those and then for my final act….my final stroke of strong-point-making-without-yelling, I grabbed the popsicle from the table that my 4-year-old had just removed the wrapper from, and tossed that one in the trash.

Our children do this to us

Our children do this to us

I was like the Grinch stealing the last crumb from Cindy Lou Hoo. My heart might have been two sizes too small last night but let me tell you, it was so empowering. It was cathartic, really. And it was my children who shrank my heart slowly but surely throughout the day.

HAPPY SUNDAY FAMILY DINNER KIDS.

Then I sent them to their rooms.

They were stunned silent.

Another remarkable feat achieved by moi that I never thought possible…SILENCE.

Sure, the tears erupted eventually once they realized it wasn’t a joke and I meant it.

Here’s the deep question. Whenever I choose to purchase some new popsicles, which might take me a bit, depends on my mood, we know the first time they drop them on the floor, they will pick them back up. But how many times after that before they repeat the cycle and ignore me?

Hit “Like” on the Wired Momma FB page if your heart is also 2 sizes too small.