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Category Archives: Work

Stressorexia

February 20, 2008

Kittens –

I’m here to bring you new words all the time. A few weeks ago it was choreplay. Today it’s “stressorexia”

Ever heard of it? Probably not. But I’m sure you’ve seen evidence of it around you.

First let me be clear – this is not a problem I have. You can pretty much be sure that on any given day, I’m thinking about my next meal and if it’s contents will include cheese and/or chocolate and/or ice cream, or better yet, all three. A deep thinker, I am not.

And yet, I’m thinking that many of my fellow over-worked, over-tired, stressed out BFFs out there might know a little something or two about stressorexia.

According to our British friends, this is a new form of an eating disorder symptomatic to overworked working moms, though I’d venture to guess plenty of women who also do not have children. These women are running ragged and tend to skip meals because they are too busy trying to get things done at work to move on to the next task – and suddenly they start losing weight and well, we all want to be a MILF, and so it goes.

Here’s the link to England’s Daily Mail:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=511848&in_page_id=1774

So while this might be very much the case for many women – I still take issue with it. As professional working women, especially if you are the mother to a daughter, it is a damn shame to bring negative body language associations and poor eating habits into the house, to only then start your young children off on the path of eating issues. I also wonder if it’s more than just women being over worked – it becomes a martyr issue.
“no one can take care of junior as well as me, no one can clean the house as good as I can, my idiot husband doesn’t get everything right on the grocery store list, so it’s just easier if I do it, none of my colleagues can do this project as well as I can and if I don’t step in and just take over, we’ll screw it up and lose the account all together.”

And then suddenly you are doing everything and well, along the way, your own health and well being falls to the side.

Who knows.

I get it that eating issues are rooted in complicated psychological issues..and though I’d love to pretend I’m an MD, I’m not. But I guess the other side of me sits backs and wonders – why make life so complicated? What’s REALLY going to happen if the house isn’t cleaned to your standard all the time? What’s really the result of the husband forgetting a few items on the grocery list? So, he gets to go back out to the store again. Does it REALLY matter if your co-workers don’t fulfill the task as well as you would? And do they really suck that bad or is there some kind of insecurity buried deep within us?

If you are a KT fan, you know that I am no fan of martyr-hood, especially once children enter the picture, and well, I guess I’m annoyed by this stressorexia article. It’s stupid.

Did I fire anyone up yet?

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Motherhood, Uncategorized, Work

Hillary & Obama – Where do they stand?

February 12, 2008

Well, the day of the Potomac Primaries has arrived. The weather is crummy and promises to get worse, so who knows how or if that will impact the outcome of today’s votes. I intend to go cast my vote this evening after work, rain, snow, sleet or whatever.

So, in honor of the primaries in my home state today, let’s talk about where Hillary and Obama stand on issues that might matter to KT readers: maternity leave, flexible work, health care, education, etc.

As I’ve been paying closer attention, I can’t say that I like Hillary much better because I think she lacks any authenticity but she really is more detailed and thorough in her explanations than Obama. The Washington Post has a quiz you can take to gauge which candidate is most aligned with what matters to you – and I came awfully close to scoring with Hillary. Truth be told, in some of the statements, I could tell Hillary said it instead of Obama and wondered if I might have picked Obama for fear of coming out as Hill’s twin.

I actually encourage you to go to the Post’s web site and take the quiz, it will force you to really have a better understanding of where the candidates stand on all issues. I caution you this – it takes some time if you really read what they say on big issues – but it’s worth it in the end. Here’s the link:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/interactives/candidatequiz/

With that, here is a link to Hillary’s web site. She really lays out where she stands on federal maternity leave, childcare and work place flexibility. I don’t want to really elaborate on it because I’ll start drawing my own conclusions – so best to just provide you with the convenience of a link. See, at KT, I’m like a 7-11 – quick stop shopping and easy. Quick and easy. Always been that way…..

http://www.hillaryclinton.com/news/release/view/?id=3743

Our guy Obama is not quite as thorough as Hillary…….and while I noted some similarities in their ideas, Hillary’s are much more detailed. I will refrain from comment and just encourage you to read this:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4176/is_20071108/ai_n21106204

Go forth and vote today, dear readers!

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Motherhood, Politics, Work

Maternity Leave, continued.

February 7, 2008

Kittens –

As promised, I am researching where the presidential candidates stand on issues that might be important to KT readers – with a special focus on federal maternity leave policies. I am only looking into McCain, Obama and Clinton for this particular entry – refuse to waste my time on Romney or Huckabee.

That said, along the way of researching the ways these candidates have addressed issues like maternity leave, I stumbled upon stories about European countries and their maternity leave policies. Hell, even our neighbor to the north, has an incredible policy as compared to ours.

So, while you are waiting at the edge of your seat for my Campaign 08 overview, I’ll give you something to feel depressed about.

As if it’s not bad enough that we’re not all living in Europe, here’s my effort at making you feel worse.

Take, for example, this story I found on maternity leave in Norway. Norwegian women are entitled to 12 months off with 80% pay or 10 months off with full pay.

And before you go spewing your coffee all over your keyboard in a fit of rage, allow moi to just make it worse and rub it in – fathers are encouraged to take as much time off as possible as well – and are required to take the first four weeks off. Apparently they believe in parental equality over there and somewhere along the way, someone got the memo that forcing fathers to stay home and learn how to take care of their own children, puts working women at an advantage because their spouse is then equally as participatory.

Wow. How shocking.

And further evidence that we are screwed here in the US – five out of 6 Norwegian mothers work.

You heard me. Five out of Six. And finally – to finish it off – they have state-sponsored daycare facilities in Norway.

So the next time we hear yet another story in the news and read a review of yet another book about why educated, professional women are “off-ramping” and staying home – perhaps we could stop a minute and realize the answer isn’t that difficult. It’s called lack of support from employers and our federal government.

And before I go and get all Michael Moore – one sided on you – it is important to realize that the Norwegian government and employers can afford such a generous plan because the taxes in Norway are sky high. That’s the catch. We have to be willing to pay substantially higher taxes to reap the benefits of such a system. But again, the flip side to high taxes is that when the sweet little babies grow up and want to go to college, instead of having to fork over $100k a year, university is free there. So what do you prefer? Pay now or pay later, kittens.

The woman featured in this piece on Norway ends with a quote on equality between men and women that should give you something to chew on because this, frankly, never occurred to me because if women in American can’t even get paid time off to have a baby, then we’re light years away from addressing equality between men and women in the workplace when balancing families:

“The system will not be completely fair to women until parental leave must be shared 50-50 between mother and father, by law. Only then will women be completely equal in the work market, and perhaps then we will choose to have even more children.”

If you’d like to read the article and start looking into moving costs to Norway, here it is kittens:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4786160.stm

And if you’d like to get paid 10,000 euros to have a baby, then you should move to Poland:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4768644.stm

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Husbands, Motherhood, Politics, Work

No Federal Paid Maternity Leave – why doesn’t everyone know this?

February 4, 2008

This morning I caught a few minutes of the Today Show as I was getting ready for work. For once, it was actually an interesting and helpful segment for working women, this time it was on maternity leave. It never fails to amaze me that people don’t know just how backwards our country is on this subject – but it seems most people just don’t focus on it until it personally impacts them.

So let’s get started with maternity leave 101. The United States is one of 4 countries that has no law guaranteeing paid maternity leave. If you are wondering in who’s company do we keep – the answer is: Swaziland (any clue where Swaziland is?), Liberia and Papa New Guinea. Oh, and the grand old United States. Those are the four countries that do not offer women paid time off for maternity leave.

And yet, people still believe the conservatives that have been running this country into the ground – care so much about family values?

But I digress.

So – if you didn’t know that before – then shame on you – and now you know it. It is imperative that KT readers are informed.

What I’ve also noticed is that once people recover from the shock of learning that, then they learn that under FMLA, women who work for companies with 50 or more employees, can leave their job for 12 weeks and return to their job or one similar. This is NOT PAID TIME – it is 12 weeks. But again – the caveat is that this law only applies to companies with 50+ employees.

OK – so Meredith covered this in the segment this morning with a reporter who’s story is in the most recent Cookie Mag. (anyone read that mag? I do on occasion but feel like it’s really meant for those who shop only at Neimans and Saks and I’m not sure it really applies to my lifestyle most days). Though I was outraged that Meredith, who has been a reporter for how many years, didn’t even know that we don’t offer paid maternity leave in this country – I recovered when I learned something really surprising.

Apparently only 8% of women receive paid maternity leave in this country. 8%. WOW – that is really disturbing. It was disturbing enough to think about the fact that it’s not a federal law – but I orbit a world where pretty much all the moms I know have received some form of paid leave. Was it overly generous? Only in one instance.

Was it more like 6 weeks off paid and then saved vacation cobbled together to eek out 12 weeks paid home with a new baby and a slowly recovering body and mind?

Yes – but still – it was paid time – and let’s not call it ‘paid time off’ – because could that be anymore misleading? I wasn’t “off” when I was on maternity leave. In fact, I’d never been more on call in my life.

Again, I digress.

So basically – it’s just another sad example of class distinctions in this country. The 8% are women of privilege – right? Women who have college degrees, probably Masters degrees, professional jobs, disposable income and nannies. We all need the time home with the baby and to recover physically – whether we went to college or not – and it’s just a sad state of affairs that we are bedfellows with under developed, poor countries – on an issue that involves the health of women and the bond between mother and child.

The legislators and President should all have a red face over this one.

The little that I’ve learned from the Cookie Mag piece (http://www.cookiemag.com/homefront/2008/02/maternityleave) and MomsRising is that, like many other legislative issues, this particular issue is being taken up at the state level and changes at the state level are our best shot at forcing change on the federal level. Right now California is the bellwether state, mandating some form of paid disability leave. Massachusetts, Washington state, New Jersey and New York have proposed bills:

http://www.progressivestates.org/content/369/maternity-and-paternity-leave

I frankly, don’t know where the presidential candidates stand on this issue. Check back later this week and I promise to give you an overview. The one thing I do know is that Senator Dodd has been a long-time advocate of a federal policy on maternity leave – so it’s too bad he didn’t last longer in the presidential race as it might have given this issue more of a platform.

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Motherhood, Work