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Dial N for Neuroses

When naively considering all the ways motherhood might change me, as a first-time preggo, what I never considered were the random, and admittedly even obscure, neuroses that would crowd my mommy brain.  I’m not worried about quicksand sucking us all down or alien invasions on my trip to crazy town but shadowy lurking perpetrators are part of it…

Are your neurotic ideas in here?

So after my uber-long post on Monday, and after yesterday’s historic #earthquake (where I learned a few things about myself..more on that later) today I will offer you a rare glimpse into the mind of my genius, or I mean, my neuroses sponsored exclusively by motherhood. Prior to children, the closest I’d come to considering the likelihood of improbabilities happening to me was when watching an action adventure movie with a friend, we concluded we are slow and not real thin, therefore we’d be one of the first to die in a horror movie.

Neurotic Idea #1: Don’t think I am Susan Smith

I travel the Bay Bridge all the time – my parents live on the other side of it. This summer it was rated one of the scariest bridges in the world. So how does a gal not worry about what would happen if her vehicle goes careening off the edge of a bridge and hurling towards the water with both of her children in the backseat. Does this thought have me flirting with crazy? Or am I just thorough and well-prepared?  Again, I am no Susan Smith. I am not thinking about driving my kids off the side of the road or bridge and into a body of water..but in the realm of wost-case scenarios – what do you do if your car goes hurling off the side and plunging to the water? And it’s all the more complicated if you have more than one child…I have two…but what if I had three….how do you get them out and safely? Who do you go for first? What does that say about you as a mother if you are picking one before the other?  Somehow conversation over July 4 dinner with my siblings prompted me to confess, for the first time, this five-year long fear that has been haunting me. And I sucked them into my crazy – are you sucked in? My brother-in-law oddly knew that we all should travel with this device to help crack open the windows of the vehicle (I think we know what I will be giving everyone for Christmas). My sister later emailed me a link to this page offering a tutorial on what to do in the event your car plunges off a bridge into a body of water…..so now I am prepared. Aren’t we all so grateful for the Internet and its ability to feed     calm our fears… Don’t think I won’t enjoy knowing that I’ve sucked you in though….

Neurotic Idea #2: Shadowy Lurking Figures

This fear has lessened since I’ve added to my brood, and since they’ve grown bigger and louder and more argumentative, but especially in those first few months of motherhood, I was totally terrified that someone would steal my kid. Particularly in the middle of the night when I was fast asleep. Again, now that they are feisty and talk-back and argue, this fear keeps slipping away because  – do you really want them? But when the babes were small and helpless and mostly quiet and made cute cooing noises, this fear was very real for me. I’ve also stopped watching 10pm TV so I have fewer crazy and paranoid ideas.

Neurotic Reality #3: Acts of Nature

So in the midst of the historic earthquake, I realized I kinda suck in times of crisis. My younger one was napping upstairs. My older one sat on the sofa and stared at me, nervously asking me what in the world was happening and what do we do. Now, I wasn’t quite to the shoving old ladies out-of-the-way and shouting “SAVE YOURSELF” panic level, but I was a little freaked out, and quite slow on the uptake regarding what the hell to do. I really feel certain the earthquake lasted longer than 45 seconds or maybe all of my thoughts were working in super slow motion but it felt like an eternity. I was slow to move her to a door frame (how are we really supposed to know what the hell to do when we live on the east coast? Here’s where you could argue that paranoid parents should probably consider all worst-case scenarios instead of just talk about them….) And then I was caught up in the dilemma of what to do about my younger one. Again – the crazy bridge diving fear coming back in another form!  Did I dare go wake her to save her life unnecessarily and then risk she not nap all afternoon? Or do I leave her up there while I saved myself and my oldest by standing in a door frame? But what is riskier? Waking a sleeping 2-year-old or earthquake injuries? See how this quake had to be longer than 45 seconds?

I remained in the door frame with my eldest.

So when the ground under my feet and my children’s feet starts to buckle, I learned that I just might suck when the paranoia becomes reality…..

What are your paranoid ideas sponsored by motherhood? I know I can’t be alone.

Today’s Topic: Cars, Safety and Kids

A few things have come together to inspire today’s expert topic: cars, safety, technology and kids. First – we need a new car chez moi and we’re engaged in a lively debate over getting an SUV with a third row seat, or not, as we stare down many years of carpooling (our old vehicle is a 2002 Jeep Grand Cherokee). Second – because our car is old, it seems to me that technology has changed pretty dramatically in vehicles since our last purchase and I need to learn more about what’s out there. So for today’s installment in the Wired Momma DC Moms expert series I turned to Amy Brink, a friend and attorney, who works for the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers, a trade association in DC that represents 12 auto manufacturers. Amy is knee-deep in automotive issues every day, as well as a mom to 2 kids and expecting her third in a few months. So who better to find out what the latest and greatest technology is in vehicles, what the scoop is on saving a few bucks in gas and a few other fun facts for the kids?

Everyone, including Oprah, likes to talk about distracted driving and the importance of not texting while driving. Of course, I am in full agreement and know that my state, Maryland, just this year passed a bill to prohibit texting and driving, or even reading texts while stopped at a red light. But to me, distracted driving is about more than technology  and how we are using it. Frankly, as a mother of 2 young kids, what defines distracted driving in my car is my kids. A trip around the beltway or down the street usually involves kids arguing, instant demands that I retrieve whatever they’ve just dropped and loud fighting over whether we’re listening to the Backyardigans or Little Mermaid soundtrack. To say that I am distracted would be an understatement. Tell me, what kind of new and emerging technologies are auto manufacturers putting in vehicles to help parents stay safe and focused, despite what their kids are doing? 

New model vehicles today are equipped with voice integration systems, so the driver can talk without having to look away from the steering wheel. Additionally, you can talk-to-text, so you can respond to a message without averting your eyes from the road by simply stating a command. Many systems allow you to preset a certain number of different pre-determined text responses like “On the road, be home soon.”  You then can tell the car to respond with that command, we’ll call it command 3, and then you’ve responded without taking your eyes off the road. A recent study found that 80% of all crashes happened because a driver looked away from the road seconds prior to the crash.  Voice recognition is now available in over 90% of models, up from just 70% in 2009.

Also, I’ve found that voice recognition technology keeps the phone out of sight of the kids, which I think is helpful because then when the  kids don’t see it, they don’t want to play with it and they don’t feel like they are competing for my attention. Another newer technology is OnStar. We have OnStar in our vehicle and I will admit, I did put my daughter in one day and then locked the car with the keys inside the vehicle. It was like that episode of Modern Family where Cam locks Lilly into the car, I was totally freaking out. The woman in the shop actually came outside and held an umbrella over the window. Anyhow, OnStar unlocked the doors right away and while I’m confessing things here, would you believe I did it AGAIN – not two minutes later – talk about mommy brain. You have no idea how grateful I was for OnStar.

Loved this scene in Modern Fam of Cam trying to open the car

Finally because your Jeep is a little older, you might not be aware of how many newer models come equipped with a video player in the back seat or satellite radio. The kids can listen to the video with their headphones on and the parents can still carry on a regular conversation.

All of these new features sound fantastic – and I loved that episode of Modern Family. I’ve also been coveting the iPod sync my sister has in her Mini Cooper, especially because I despise listening to the commercials on the radio. As I consider the built-in video players for our next vehicle, I’m torn because it is something I’ve actually ached for when I hit that unexpected traffic jam on the beltway but I can see how there’s likely an issue with setting boundaries and expectations with the kids. What’s your experience on this front? 

Well, as a mom to 2 young kids, I certainly face that battle every day. We’ve worked really hard at setting boundaries with the kids on when they can and can not watch a movie in the car. They know that for the commute to daycare or home, they aren’t going to watch a video, but certainly for longer distances it’s a real treat to have access to it. Just like everything else with them, we try to be consistent so they know what to expect with it, it’s a privilege to watch the movie, not an automatic right.  And for the record, it can be a life-saver in those unexpected Saturday afternoon beltway traffic jams.
 
That makes sense. Now moving on to safety technology and emerging technologies, everyone has heard of anti-lock brakes and electronic stability control. What other types of new safety technologies are automakers installing in vehicles that parents should know about before heading off to the showroom floor?  To me, just the idea of heated or cooled seats seems like wonderful technology.

Well, personally, the blind-spot assist technology has been really wonderful. Basically when another vehicle is in your blind spot, as detected by sensors built into your vehicle, a small light will illuminate in your rearview mirror to let you know. It can be really helpful, again, especially when you are in a rush or the kids are distracting you. In terms of emerging technology, vehicle-t0-vehicle communication is really pretty amazing.  What it means is that vehicles will be able to talk to one another.  For example, say that a monitoring system picks up that all cars are turning on their windshield wipers at mile marker 48, your vehicle can then ready itself for inclement weather and alert you to an upcoming weather front. Or, maybe cars are all suddenly shifting to the far right of a lane – this driver behavior can then alert the city that there’s a pothole in the road. Another example might be when two cars are approaching the same intersection, vehicle-to-vehicle communications can determine that one of the vehicles isn’t preparing to stop – even though they have a stop sign, and can warn the other driver. 

Very cool stuff to look out for. So these are technologies to look for in the future?

There’s lots of cool stuff in the works.  One thing to keep in mind is that car shoppers value safety – so, automakers compete against one another to build cars consumers know are safe.  That means each company is doing lots of research and experimenting with things behind closed doors to beat the competition.  In the end, the consumers win.  In general, though, I think you’re seeing automakers take on the next generation of safety technologies – which are the types of technologies that help a driver avoid a crash in the first place.  Things like lane departure warning and adaptive cruise control are great examples of that.

Until then, off topic, but still fun for families, kids as young as 3 and 4 are learning about the environment and the importance of recycling in preschool. I’ve heard that many parts of the vehicle are recycled, can you give me some fun facts that I can relay to my kids about what’s been recycled in vehicles today?

Sure, they might like to know that old blue jeans are used for trunk liners and carpets inside the cars.

Some sweet 80s jeans as carpet liners, anyone?

 The auto manufacturers also study nature to help learn how to build new technologies into vehicles. For example, one manufacturer is studying locusts because they fly in tight formations and are masters of collision avoidance. So what can we learn from how they locusts travel and avoid collisions, and apply it to safety technology in vehicles? Really interesting stuff.

Final question – gas prices are still pretty high. As we head into the July 4 holiday, long road trips and traffic, do you have any tips on getting the most out of our mileage?

Sure. Before you hit the road, check your tire pressure. Keeping your tires properly inflated can improve your fuel efficiency by almost 3%, which translates into about a tank of gas per year. On distance drives, maintain a steady speed. Most people don’t realize that every 5 mph over 60 mph they are driving is the equivalent to spending an extra 20 cents per gallon on gas. And a third tip that is easy to remember is be sure you tighten your gas cap all the way – you can check your owners manual for specifics on your vehicle but typically you should hear the cap click as you tighten it. A loose gas cap is an easy escape route for gas.

Thank you to Amy for her great advice on autos today. And I’ll keep you all posted on if we end up with a vehicle with a third row seat or not – I’d love to hear from readers who do have an SUV with a third row and if it’s been as used as you expected it would be.

Get out and play: Activity suggestions with the kids

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted any activity ideas…please forgive me…things have been hectic. There are always so many great events happening around town in the summer, so here are just a few ideas, if you can tear yourselves away from the pool:

For the outdoor music lovers: Strathmore is kicking off a free outdoor concert series on Wednesday June 28 at 7pm. For 8 Wednesdays this summer, pack your beach chairs, toss a few blankets into the car and head over to Strathmore for some great music, let the kids play outdoors, and even purchase dinner at the BBQ shack while you’re there. Wednesday’s performer, Rafi Malkiel, brings a jazz sound infused with Klezmer, Latin and Caribbean influences – perfect for a sultry summer night. Strathmore also offers some wonderful programs just for the kids. Beginning Thursday mornings in July, take your kids for a trip around the world in the Backyard Theater for Kids for just $8, free for those ages 2 and under. The series takes place outside under a tent, so pack your bug spray and picnic blankets, and even plan to bring a picnic lunch to make it a longer outing. Each week focuses on music from a different part of the world. Also, if you’re looking to take a break from the heat, check out the Strathmore calendar of events for upcoming specialty teas for the kids. Next week I’m looking forward to the Fancy Nancy specialty tea and in July they are hosting a Prince and Princess specialty tea. Be sure to book early because these teas sell out quickly.

For the young theater lovers:

The Puppet Co in Glen Echo Park is showing The Great Dinosaur Mystery through July 17. Targeted for the preschool set through grade 4, I’ve heard the show is lively, engaging and definitely loud…which should appeal to my never-quiet 5-year-old. Click here for ticket prices and show times. The show lasts about 50 minutes and as always, is catered towards the little ones. I’m headed there next week with the girls and really looking forward to it.

Charlotte’s Web is opening on Friday at Adventure Theatre.

Images by Bruce Douglas

You can catch the show until September 5 though if you are around over July 4 weekend and looking to fill in some time, I heard they have plenty of tickets still available for that weekend. I’m taking my eldest to see it in a few weeks, the web site indicates it’s good for those ages 3 and up and I’ve always found their age recommendations to be spot-on, when determining whether or not to take my younger one. Click here to purchase tickets or peek at the great upcoming season. We never miss a show at Adventure Theatre, in my house, because they are always so well done and the perfect  duration for young ones.

I realize today’s post is all about Montgomery County…as always – if you have an event anywhere around the beltway – please email me at monica.sakala@gmail.com or post a comment here to let us all know about it. I’ll resume more activity ideas after the long July 4 idea. Until then…stay cool…and have fun.

Summer Hair – Last chance to enter to win Express Blowout

Don’t forget to enter to win the Express Blowout from Denise – the winner will be announced tomorrow. Enter by subscribing to Wired Momma and sending me an email at monica.sakala@gmail.com

Denise is also offering all WM readers a 25% discount off the Express Blowout service ($99-$150 depending on the length of your hair) good through July 31. Just print the flyer (link below) and tell her you are a WM reader. This is a great deal! I got the Express Blowout 6 weeks ago and it’s still working…I am just starting to notice the smallest bit of curl.

Denise-Circular_idea – click here to print the coupon!!!