Category Archives: Uncategorized

Geriatric Kitty-time

Hello dear readers –

Kitty-time can breathe freely and easily again today. The extra aging lines on my face and puffiness under my eyes, will hopefully go away, but I cannot be sure. C’est vrai. Kitty-time has been put through the ringer for the past two days. And it brings to light a very important subject.

Nannies.

Unless you have a nanny that you adore and appreciate, you really cannot comprehend the gravity of this situation. You can read this and think “oh, well, it worked out” or “I would have just fired her and found another.”

But trust moi, dear readers. You have absolutely no idea what this living hell is like until you find yourself in it OR you have a nanny. Kitty-time has a fabulous nanny. She is responsible, reliable, dedicated and loves my darling daughter. Sure – having a nanny in your house can be a pain – and there are downsides to having a nanny. Things happen in their life, they bring the baggage to work, their kids get sick, they miss work, etc etc. All of these things throw a wrench in your day and make perfect attendance at work – impossible.

But more than anything, our nanny is the cat’s meow and I would never want to lose her.

She has been gone for almost 6 weeks and told me that she was returning to work on Wednesday. I began practically counting down the minutes a week ago. But then…..

Tuesday afternoon came and went, no word from her.
Tuesday night – no word.
Wednesday – no sight of her.
By this time, kitty-time had a 50 pound knot in her chest.

Where is the nanny?
IS she being held against her will?
Did druglords whisk her off to the jungle and are holding her against her will?
Did the dates get mixed up?
Did bad weather delay flights?
Did she change her mind and suddenly is never returning to the country?
What will we do? Who will tend to our daughter? Who is going to miss work again to stay home because we have no one to watch the baby?
How can this really be happening?

Kitty-time’s mind was reeling, heart racing, head pounding, everything was falling apart.

If you think I’m being dramatic…then again, you don’t have a nanny. Check back and read this post after you’ve invested a year into a nanny and you love that person….

And then….it happened. Kitty-time’s laid back, easy going, never gets stressed husband admitted that he, too, was beginning to panic.

Mais non!!!

The 50 pound knot suddenly became 250 pounds. My chest was caving in. My pounding head became a full-blown migraine. Sleep was impossible.

If laid back husband is worried, then kitty-time doesn’t have a dog in this fight.

We began plotting our next move. When we would start interviewing nannies, how we would juggle next week’s work.

Meanwhile, back behind the scenes in kitty-time’s mind entered these questions:

Do the US authorities invest time and energy into locating a missing woman who has a green card but is not yet a citizen?
How would I find the authorities in Ecuador?
Where are her children?
Why would she not be coming back? It can only mean the worst.

Perhaps I’ve seen that Meg Ryan, Russell Crowe movie set in Latin America…where Crowe locates kidnapped Americans…that one. Maybe I’ve seen that movie one too many times, I will admitt.

But back to the crisis – kitty-time also really doesn’t have the energy or strength to endure the nanny finding process again. This is not in my plan. This is not what is supposed to be happening. We are supposed to keep our beloved nanny until are darling daugther can start in preschool. Life is easier, smoother and consistent that way.

This morning, the crisis became resolved. It was downgraded from code red to over with. Kitty-time, in her efforts to stalk members of the nanny’s family and in-laws, managed to locate someone in the area who knows the nanny and could confirm her arrival back in the US on Saturday.

IT’s true, Saturday the 20th is definitely NOT Wednesday the 17th.

But really – that doesn’t matter. Nanny is returning to the country. Nanny is safe and unharmed. She is not being held against her wild. Druglords did not steal her. And let’s be honest, my house will be clean again and my darling daughter – well cared for.

All is well.
Kitty-time can breathe.

What is the lesson in all of this.

The lesson is the threat of losing a beloved nanny will throw your entire life off balance. It will spiral the most level-headed person into a state of insanity. Even the most relaxed person out there will need Xanax. Kitty-time’s mother suggested a hot tottie.

How about some hard liquor pumped into my veins through an IV?

The other lesson is that the life of a working mom is very fragile. It is a tight rope with the balancing act being held together with a porcelin shell. Any curveballs in the day can mean the working mom is teetering on the edge of her tight rope, barely hanging on. But a crisis of epic proportions involves the daily quality care of the child. And when that is threatened…..all is not well and every decision you make is questioned…starting with “should I really be working?”

Bottom line:
Love your nannies, dear readers, because losing them will age your beautiful face and tighten your pretty chest in ways you cannot imagine. Kitty-time doesn’t even wish this ordeal upon her enemies, even the most loyal of Bush supporters.

More on politics…..and some great gossip

Well – kitty-time is so happy with the responses from yesterday’s posting. Clearly politics and celebs strike a chord with my dear readers. SO, I will begin with Hillary.

Did anyone see Hil on the Today Show this morning?
She was very stern, very serious and presented some clear thinking and strong ideas on the situation in Iraq.

And yet, I found myself thinking that her hair looked really good and it makes such a difference when she gets it professionally styled than when it’s flat. Somehow she looks heavier when it’s flat.
And I also found myself thinking how bitchy she sounded. Just as I was thinking that, my husband busts out with
“She sounds like such a bitch”
To which I retorted “She is talking about war, she should sound stern. If a man were speaking about war, you wouldn’t make one comment, yet you automatically think because a woman is speaking sternly, she sounds like a bitch. As the father of a daughter, you have a greater responsibility to not say things like that.”

Good thing he didn’t know I secretly agreed….

Kitty-time was later relaying this conversation to some friends and one friend replied….that this will be Hil’s weakness, among others.

So again – we return to the point Kitty was wisely trying to make yesterday.

Even the bluest voters out there – are they really ready for a woman president? Won’t we all just be busy critiquing her tone and her suit color and her hair style? And gasp…if her makeup gets all gobby like Katie Couric’s mascara.

I just want a D in the white house. Gender, color – it doesn’t matter to me in 2008.

And as for the White House….kitty-time learned some fascinating political gossip. Far be it from me to steer clear of a good conspiracy theory.

Apparently the rumor running around town is that Negroponte really left DNI to become #2 at State b/c Condi is stepping down as Secretary.
Condi is stepping down as Secretary bc Cheney has “health issues” and will be cast aside. Condi will then be appointed VP.
Apparently Cheney’s “health issues” are of a political nature. The current President realizes that his legacy will improve if he casts Cheney aside and becomes the first to appoint a female, African-American Vice President.

The only way Kitty-Time can see the President’s legacy improving is if he finds a way to wipe out all of our memories over the past 7 years and then recreates history. Don’t think Condi-Sleezy can save him this time.

Chew on that.

Obama, Hil, and the Globes

So much to talk about..where does kitty-time begin? With important political issues that will impact our future and the future of our children? With the historical announcement of Obama – exploring a run for the Presidency? Are we ready for an African-American president, any more than we are ready for a female president?
Or with the Globes?

Well..really…if you know moi at all, you must know that kitty-time will start avec les celebs! I just can’t help myself. I used to like Angelina Jolie. I think I despise her now. Could she have looked any more bored and seemed any more self-righteous than last night when Ryan “Time to come out of the closet” Seacrest was interviewing Brad? Get over yourself Angie. Great – you adopted some kids. Great – you give some of your hundreds of millions to charity. Guess what – without the movies and the fans and the award shows – you wouldn’t be able to do all of that. You aren’t that important. Now smile and move on.

And then Evangeline Lilly. For the love of God. She is complaining about being famous? Then quit your job and go do something productive. What the hell did you think was going to happen?

Drew Barrymore was a breath of fresh air. She looked fantastic and seemed happy to be there and happy to discuss her usual jewelry purchases at Urban Outfitters. Giving the viewers a sense that these celebs love their job and appreciate their situation – that is what we, the viewers, are looking for. Not for their self-righteous boredom and the burden that rests on their shoulders of attending these award shows. I’m sure it’s very difficult to endure time at the spa, body detoxing, hours of free hair and makeup, hours to peruse the free gifts, and all the free jewelry and clothing tossed their way.

Now…with that off my chest, kitty-time will now mention Democratic presidential aspirations for 2008.

We’ve got Obama in one corner.

Hillary in another.

But is any of it realistic? Is our country really ready for an African-American president? And really – are we ready for a woman president? Particularly the one that declared there is a right-wing conspiracy out to get her husband. You know, the cheating one.

I am the first to admit that I lick the screen whenever dear Bill comes on TV, so I would love to see him as the First Husband but more than anything, I want a total D takeover in 08. Kitty-time will support the candidate with the most realistic shot at winning those districts that are straddling both blue and red…….kitty-time is a big picture person….but she salutes those bellwether’s that move forward to make what seems so unrealistic, possible someday.

Why Work is Good

A dear friend and kitty-time reader is feeling the anxiety of returning to work after maternity leave. She is very aware of how sad she will feel to leave her sweet and beautiful baby and all the anxiety that comes with leaving your beloved in the care of another. Fellow kitty-time readers share many things in common – beauty, wit, brilliance – and also, type A personality traits. Some would call it controlling tendencies, sprinkled with opinions. But really, kitty-time readers know what they want, how they want it done, and what needs to be done next. This is a good thing.

Except when it comes to leaving your child in the care of another. Particularly because that person is, well, really just a stranger until you get to know one another. (note – kitty-time advises AGAINST using family members as full-time caretakers of your baby. Speak with me separately if you’d like to disagree. You clearly haven’t had a baby yet if you think it’s a good idea).

And so, instead of highlighting all the negative things and stressors that come with returning to work, kitty-time will now discuss why work is good.

1. It is good for all mommies to learn to be away from their babies and trust someone else to take care of them. It is also good for the baby to learn to be around other people and well, not mind. It does not mean your baby isn’t attached to you or loves the nanny more – even when you think it might. It really doesn’t.

2. Kitty-time readers are smart. We all have worked hard, many have received master’s or law degrees. It is good for kitty-time readers to exercise their brains in ways that do not involve Dr. Seuss books, animal noises to make a baby giggle, or “play with me sesame” on Noggin channel. When you can sing-along with Moose A. Moose’s song of the month, it’s time to return to work.

3. Dressing up for work. Lounging around in sweat pants is really quite comfortable, but purchasing a new spring suit and a fabulous pair of shoes, can also really warm a gal’s heart.

4. The feeling that comes with a good day’s work, positive professional feedback, and using your brain – is not something you will ever get being home all day. And it is motivating, reminds a gal why she does go to work, and why being away from baby isn’t all bad, all the time.

And so – for any new mommies out there facing the daunting task of returning to work…fret not, dear readers, it gets easier, and it’s good for you. Trust me. Kitty-time, unlike our President, never lies.