Category Archives: Motherhood

Eau de Toddler

Kittens –

I write to you today in a cry for help. Yours truly, KT, is stumped. Alas, I fear I am enabling possible germ warfare in my home. Who needs plutonium when they have eau de toddler.

Let me set the stage.

Darling daughter, like most in the toddler set, has a special blanket. In our house, we call it “Buggy,” a phrase coined by my oldest sister when she was a wee thing. Darling daughter’s buggy is near and dear to her heart. It is a pink soft blanket with the required satin trim and a small bunny attached to it. Here is the link if you are on the lookout for a good buggy: http://www.ohbabyaustin.com/Shop/Product.aspx?PID=1073

Being the clever mom that I am, I have not one but three buggy’s. KT’s friend, SelfMade Mom (www.selfmademom.net) has like 8 of these for her darling son (SMM also sent the original buggy, the very culprit of which I am speaking about today, to my DD as a gift for her arrival to this world). SMM and I, we are clever, we are always thinking ahead, we are ready for the ultimate disaster – the loss of the buggy, therefore we have an arsenal.

DD began sleeping with her buggy when she was about 4-5 months old. She liked having it next to her face and as she got older, when nap time or bed time approached, I could always count on watching her rub this buggy under her nose and her eyes roll back, as she floated off to her baby happy place, complete with the somewhat nasty buggy smell.

Now that she’s more verbal, she’ll tell me she wants to go “nigh night” and ask me for her “buggy,” and it’s really cute. But see, enter the problem.

Now that she’s older, she’s also much more attached to the buggy. And that’s fine by me, she only takes it to bed with her, but see, the buggy scent is what makes the buggy.

You got it. That sweet smell of drool and milk and dirt and sweat and who knows what else is what makes the buggy the real security blanket. And it is that very scent that is creating a problem. She will not go down with one of her other two buggy’s anymore. THEY are rejected because they are..gasp…CLEAN.

I tried one morning to trick her, I’d been keeping a second buggy in her crib so she could nuzzle against it as well and get it all good and stinky and then I could slip out the original buggy and put it in the wash. But no, that particular morning she stood up, tossed the less pungent one over the crib side and said “Buggy.”
I said, “you have your buggy, here is your buggy” and so innocently handed it back to her, feeling all clever.

And she took a whif again, tossed it again and said “No! Buggy!”

Apparently I’m really not that clever.

So off I went to retrieve the nasty one from her laundry basket, upon which she immediately sniffed it to determine its authenticity, then nestled down for a good nap.

OK then, I thought. I’ll worry about this later.

So more weeks have passed. I tried again to remove the foul buggy and leave her with only the one from the bench, but alas, she cried and cried and wouldn’t nap until the original buggy was returned to her.  Point 2 for toddler. Point 0 for mom.

And now, even more time has passed and this morning, one of the first things my husband said to me was this “You’ve got to wash her buggy, she smells nasty because of it.”

I replied “She does not smell nasty, maybe she needs to brush her teeth,” (all the while thinking maybe it’s him that smells nasty and he has two arms that he can use to wash the damn buggy as well but didn’t say.)

To which he retorted “No, it’s not her breath. It’s her hair that stinks from sleeping with that disgusting buggy all night.”

So kittens, alas, what is a mom to do? DD rejects the backup buggy’s. They are B list to her A list. If I wash it, she won’t want it. But I am preoccupied with the filth she is rubbing all over her face, the germs, the nastiness.

Seriously – what do I do? I know this is common – this is classic toddler behavior. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, right? But can I just go on for longer knowingly giving her such a foul blanket? How in the world do you convince a toddler that clean is good and still soothing?

How long can you turn a blind eye to knowingly giving your daughter a blanket that has turned from pink to black with filth – but it’s that filth that helps her sleep so well every day? What’s more important, cleanliness or sleep?

I am stumped.

Brit-Bot?

R2D2 – was that you?

Wait – I’m sorry, I think it was supposed to have been Britney.

But did I fall asleep and wake up and not realize that robots now roam planet earth and have morphed themselves to look like the human species? Is it 3007 not 2007? Has the Space Odyssey begun? If so, I hate science fiction, about as much as I hated last night’s VMA opener.

Did everyone see the robotic performance brought to us by Brit-bot last night at the VMAs? Sponsored by Robots International?  

I, for one, was floored. I couldn’t believe how terrible and lousy and embarassing and unprofessional her performance was. It was as if she’d never been on stage before, what with the inability to lip-sync and wearing shoes that she clearly couldn’t walk in, let alone dance in. I was left wondering the entire time – what was she on – or could she really have been that shell shocked and nervous? I mean – this is BRITNEY we are talking about.

And the thing is – it seemed like everyone was ready for a huge Britney come back, including myself, and I’m not sure why. To recap – in a matter of months, Britney’s managed to make her hideous ex-husband seem like Father of the Year, she’s estranged herself from her mother, behaved terribly on at least one photo shoot, drug her kids around town at god forsaken hours for toddlers to be out, is pulled over by the police like once a week, before we even get into the clear substance abuse problem. And yet – yet – all of us, Paris included, were ready for a big Britney comeback.  There’s nothing like having the support of Paris on the red carpet. It surely warms a gal’s soul.

Again – she is not someone who is down on her luck or fallen on hard times – so why were we all routing for her? Nation – usually we like those who have to pull themselves up by their boot straps. It seems we give a special exception to Brit-bot, this time we are routing for someone who has to wipe the coke from her nostrils but we still want her to win.

And she blew it, she was like some kind of high robot up on stage, lacking any kind of stage presence or sex appeal.

And her body – let’s get to that. Let me first preface it by saying that she is very sexy and thin. But she still somehow seemed big – especially when you think about her previous python, making out with Madonna VMA performance. Yes yes – I realize that having two children does that to a body – even if you’ve had a tummy tuck and boob job to help move things along – but it’s a tough business and I think she should have worn something a little less revealing and ultimately sexier.

Maybe it’s because she’s a mom and has two children and is still a baby herself – but whatever the reason – it seems that we all wanted the resurgence of Britney 2007. But we didn’t get it. Instead, we got the alien arrival of Brit-Bot, world’s worst performing robot.

With that, kittens, check out my latest posting on the Chinese and their products over at DC Metro Moms, know that I, of course, found a way to blame the Republicans:

 http://svmomblog.typepad.com/dc_metro_moms/2007/09/are-the-chinese.html#comments

A potpourri of things

Hello Kittens –

I apologize for my dead radio silence all week. Alas, Congress is back in session and my work load and stress level have been through the roof this week. Sadly, the idea that I will need to work all day long, every day, instead of goofing around online and blogging, will likely persist for the remainder of the year. Apparently working is what I’m supposed to be doing and we all know that I love to take little breaks here and there to entertain you. To give you an idea of the stress level here, I actually cried in front of my boss yesterday. C’est vrai. It’s the first time in about 4 years of working in my office that I cried at work – and cried in front of my boss. For the record – I’m really not a crier. So, let’s blame the man and be patient with me kittens and know that I will get to you as soon as I have a free second…..

With that, and because I am essentially brain dead today, I’m going to cover many of the things that have been on my mind this past week.

First – it’s September. Ahh….we can all breathe a sigh of relief and know that there WILL FINALLY be an end to this hideous summer heat. When that will be, I’m not sure, but at least we know it will happen. If you are anything like me, you are busily obsessing over your new fall wardrobe and what key items you might have to add to it. I’ve been OBSESSING over boots this week and keep reminding myself that it’s still 90 outside so I don’t need to rush into any purchases. A dear KT friend once pointed out that she thinks I dress my daughter how I would have dressed myself at her age. Naturally she’s right and while I’m anti-matching mommy-and-me outfits (kill me first) – I might co-opt the style I’ve already laid in place for daughter’s fall wardrobe: mini-skirts, fun tops and funky tights.

For myself, I’ll lose the funky tights and stick with solid patterns and instead add in boots. I’m thinking a pair of low heeled more casual brown boots is a more practical addition for my casual weekend wear seeing as how chasing after the toddler is much more difficult in thin 3 inch heels with pointy toes. Frankly, I’m a lot more Jenny Garner weekend-kid style than I am Katie Holmes.

Another item on my mind is Vera Wang’s new line that she’s debuting in Kohl’s this weekend. I will admitt, I am really intrigued. Kohl’s isn’t a store that really enters my repetoire when I think of places to shop. But it’s a brilliant marketing move on their part – and time will tell if it’s good for Vera – but I, for one, will make a point to visit a Kohl’s in the next few weeks to checkout this “Very Vera” line. Stay tuned on that.  OH – and the final thing is that due to my hellacious week, I completely forgot to DVR Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style, which I am sure is going to be my new favorite show. If you tuned it, tell me about it!

So the other thing that’s been on my mind this week is a new appreciation and understanding for parents who have children that are total brats. NOW – let’s be clear – I will not tolerate this behavior in my household but you know they say you can’t really understand someone until you’ve walked in their shoes. Well, I have a deeper understanding of how it happens now. Example – darling daughter really loves popsicles. You know, the kind you make at home by just filling up some OJ and then freezing it? Yes well, she LOVES them. I often wish that I could be so happily satisified by 2 ounces of  frozen juice.  Recently, she has decided that she wants a “pop-cle” in the morning – in lieu of breakfast.

Well, we all know that we don’t eat “pop-cle” in the mornings, do we. And yes, I realize that it’s just a frozen version of the very small glass of juice she would otherwise receive but it’s the point. You can have a “pop-cle” after lunch or after dinner, but not instead of breakfast.

But see, screaming fits in front of the freezer demanding “pop-cle” repeatedly before you’ve as much as had a cup of coffee – isn’t fun. And the thing about toddlers is this – they are persistent and they don’t forget. You can think you can distract them and change the subject with a fun toy or “Diego” and the crying subsides.
But then think again – they just get that bee in their bonnet again a few minutes later – and bam. We’re right back to screaming in front of the freezer for a “Pop-cle.”

Meanwhile, over in KT’s head, I’m left wondering if someone can get me an IV pumped with some coffee while I dip into my vast well of patience, again point out that we don’t have “pop-cle’s” at breakfast, and ignore the fit.

My point – I get it now. It would definitely be EASIER to just cave in and give her the “pop-cle” but I can see how that is a slippery slope and once I put even a toe on it, down we go.

And finally, I really haven’t had time to keep up with celeb gossip to the extent that I like – but I was saddened to hear that Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger broke up. What will happen with their sweet little girl? And speaking of babies, how about Halle Berry getting pregnant? Love that.

That’s all for now kittens, I will do my best to give you more attention next week.

Off my chest!

Check out my rants  on today’s front page Wash Post piece on breastfeeding…on the newly launched and super cool DC Metro Moms  Blog:’

http://svmomblog.typepad.com/dc_metro_moms/2007/08/stay-off-my-che.html