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Supreme Decision

June 30, 2008

I meant to blog on this topic on Friday but ended up being too busy to get to it – but yesterday’s Washington Post page one piece only further validated my thoughts that this is a very important blog topic – the election and the Supreme Court.

Last week’s Supreme Court decision to lift the ban on handguns in the District really appalled me. As anyone who is living in DC knows, including the very people sitting on the bench, this spring and summer have been marked with an increase in gun violence and crime in the District. Listening to the radio on the way to work on Friday, all I heard in response to the Court’s decision were comments from police chiefs in cities like Miami and Los Angeles reaffirming the reality that allowing people access to guns isn’t a measure of safety because it almost always ends up being used against them in a crime, or finding its way to the hands of children, etc.

Guns are horrible things. Like Chris Rock said, if the guns are going to be legal, we should make the price of a bullet about $5k each, then we’d see a dramatic drop in random gun violence.

Setting all of that aside – as we think about the election in November – at the end of the day – is there ANYTHING more important than the impact on the Supreme Court, when deciding who should be the next President?

This is what scares me the most about a McCain presidency – the potential for a full conservative take-over of the highest court in the country. Every woman in America should think about that – and every parent of little girls – should think about that – as they cast the vote – and consider how a conservative Supreme Court could very easily overturn a woman’s right to an abortion.

And in case you’ve forgotten, good old maverick, renegade McCain – he’s pro-life, kittens.

This election is pivotal for so many reasons – but along the way – I fear that far too many people aren’t even considering the repercussions of the Supreme Court as they consider voting for McCain.

It’s a Supreme Court election – don’t forget it:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/28/AR2008062802078.html?sid=ST2008062900126&pos

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Motherhood, Politics

More Random Things

June 25, 2008

By now I’m sure we’ve all heard about the new show premiering tonight on NBC, “The Baby Borrowers.” I will admit, I am fascinated. First- I am hung up on why teenagers are married? Then, I’m hung up on why they want to have children already? THEN – I’m hung up on what kind of insane parents would donate their baby and toddler for this national experiment – train wreck in the making? I’m pretty sure I’m judging them, even if they are only one room away, watching everything unfold. What do those parents gain by letting their babies be a guinea pig for another horrible reality show? Why let your sweet babe be a sacrificial lamb for teens? Teens scare me.

And yet, you better believe, I intend to watch it at least tonight. I don’t know if this is just another example of endorsing a teenager’s insane belief that they can and should be married and having children – by even giving them a national platform – or if it could actually open up some kids eyes to the reality of life with babies. Who knows. But I’ve never said I was above totally trashy TV.

In terms of other observations for the second time preggo – people are OBSESSED with if we told our DD yet, why not if we haven’t and when we plan to tell her. This has really surprised me. Why is anyone even thinking about that? Have they forgotten she is 2.5 years old – not 10? It fascinates me. And not just people without children who can’t really appreciate what a toddler can and cannot process – people with toddlers – people with school age children – universally – everyone wants to know if we told DD that she is going to be a big sister.

The answer is this – NO. I can’t figure out why, in my right mind, I would tell her this now. She has no real concept of time beyond what happens next in the day or when her next meal is. Telling her that we are going to the beach on Friday is like telling her we are going to the beach in December. Right? What does Friday mean to her?

My point – how would telling her that she’s going to be a big sister and there is going to be a baby in the house – make any sense right now when that event isn’t happening until early December? Why open myself up to questions that give an answer that don’t make a lot of sense just yet? Plus – it’s totally going to be meaningless to her until this baby arrives and comes home and guess what…doesn’t leave.

So people’s obsession with this is totally amusing and fascinating to me. I figure I’ll start talking to her about it when my stomach is so large, that it’s in her way and she can’t help but wonder about it. Then we’ll tell her and start reading some “I’m a big sister” books.

Even that won’t mean much to her considering she told me that daddy has a baby in his tummy the other week. But I still can appreciate the fact that toddlers don’t like surprises and she deserves to know – it just seems insanely early to me yet.

And finally, in case you haven’t noticed, the celebrity gossip mag watch of how quickly Jessica Alba is losing her baby weight is in full swing and it continues to annoy the hell out of me. Why do we fixate on celebrities and their loss of baby weight? They have personal trainers, chefs and probably night nurses. They have the means and the time to get back to the gym – things the rest of us don’t have. It’s maddening to me.

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Celebrities, Motherhood

Heels for Who?

June 20, 2008

Yesterday, I found myself with deep thoughts about Jamie Lynn Spears delivering a baby girl. Babies having babies is just not something I can get on board with, applaud, or feel enthusiastic about. I hate that the media even give this girl any attention. I fear that she is sending a message to young girls that it’s OK to have a baby, that it’s manageable, that there is nothing wrong with teens having babies.

Frankly, it freaks me out. Just like it freaks me out that conservatives out there believe that teenagers shouldn’t be given access to birth control or encourage them to use it in sex ed classes. Look people – we know that teenagers are horny, ravaged with hormones and curiosity – and they are having sex. It’s just the reality, whether we like it or not – so who, in their right mind, really thinks that keeping the very things from them that will prevent pregnancy and STDs – is a good and intelligent idea?

Makes me sick.

And the problem with the younger Spears girl is this – Britney’s mess of a life played out on a very public stage for all of us to see – but at least she is in her 20s. The Spears family will keep the reality of babies having babies shielded from all the world to protect Jamie Lynn’s future career. So young naive teens will think it’s easy and manageable to have a baby, get your body back and still be a star.
Mark my words.

It is a sad day.

But how do these young impressionable girls end up getting pregnant to begin with???? Well – there are tons of reasons – most too deep and too complex for this blog. But certainly how we socialize them comes into play.

I’m very aware of the language we use around DD, the kinds of clothing choices that seem all-too-inappropriate for toddlers out there – and the types of dolls that might be sending the wrong message- and how to keep her away from this offensive and sexualized socialization.

Need some visual aides to help you along, particularly if you aren’t shopping for toddler girls? Here you go:

http://www.milaniboutique.com/product.cfm?productid=2788&cat=2&subcat=21

Should I dress DD in that this summer? Seems appropriate for a 2 year old on the beach, now doesn’t it?

Seeing as how she’s really a 3T now, maybe a rhinestone studded string bikini is best?

http://www.milaniboutique.com/product.cfm?productid=2723&cat=2&subcat=21

And I vow to keep these from my house for all of eternity – just like my mother despised Barbie dolls:

http://www.bratz.com/

And then, a dear KT BFF sent me a link to a site that is selling HEELS for baby girls.

FOR REAL.

Obviously they aren’t real heels for babies but they look like heels and they’re meant to make everyone laugh and “ha ha, isn’t that so silly, she’s only 6 months and she’s already a shoe horse and purchasing heels.”

I am still wiping the vomit from my mouth.

I’ll be the first to admit that I love shoes and I’ve noticed my DD has an affinity for shoes. In particular, she seems to love jelly sandals, which amuses me endlessly, perhaps she’ll be on VH1’s “Best of the 80s” giving comedic overviews one day? And of course I’ve secretly longed for her to be the next Jimmy Choo.

But putting a baby in heels that – get this – LOOK LIKE HOOKER HEELS – what the hell are people thinking? And they are spending money on this?

http://www.heelarious.com/category_4/Elle.html

Maybe I’m just in a bad mood today – but I really can’t get over those ridiculous shoes.

Until we consistently teach our girls that they deserve more, that they are worth more, that their brain and what is inside – is more important than what is outside – and on and on (I’ll get off my soapbox) – then girls will keep ending up pregnant at 17.

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Motherhood

Random Preggo Observations

June 19, 2008

I’m into month four of my pregnancy and have a few observations on what is different this second time around.

First, with the horrible sleep you get as a preggo – I’m not all dramatic about it this time around because I can appreciate that horrible stomach aches and frequent peeing hold nothing against a screaming baby that won’t settle down. Frankly, I don’t even find it noteworthy. But it’s the sleep disruption patterns that fascinate me because they are so predictable – though I would never have known this as a first time preggo. Essentially since about week 6 or so of my pregnancy, my night time patterns have followed this:

solid sleep from 9:30pm-12:30-1am

Waking every two hours to pee from 1am-5:30-6am, when my day usually starts.

So, I’m easily up peeing 4 times a night.

My point – this is the exact pattern of a newborn – is it not? You know they’ll sleep pretty solidly from 9-10pm until about 1am, and after that, they’re easily up every two-three hours if you’re lucky – certainly for the first 6-8 weeks.

Is this boot camp, or what? I mean – what your body does and how it prepares you really amazes me.

Now, trust me, I’m not getting all Angelina Jolie on you and about to sing the praises of the miracle of the female body. I don’t enjoy getting up all the time, I ache for a long night of sleep that is uninterrupted and I think back to those weeks and days before I got pregnant and desperately wish I had appreciated the long nights of uninterrupted sleep I was getting because I sure as hell wasn’t focusing on how they were about to change already.

The other thing I would like to comment on is the upward weight gain. With my first pregnancy, it really didn’t bother me so much because it was all new and exciting and what was supposed to be happening.

This time, it is bothering me. First – let me state the obvious – I am welcoming the weight gain because it is important for the health of the baby. Setting that aside – I am not the person that loses weight easily. Nor was I the preggo that suddenly returned to my pre-pregnancy body within weeks of giving birth. Those people annoy me, frankly.

It took me almost two full years and a lot of hard work with regular 6am workouts to return to my old body, maybe even a bit thinner. So now, as I step on the scale at the docs office, I’m suddenly thrown back in time to when I last weighed this amount and how hard I had to work to get down to this even higher weight and how much harder I had to work to go down even more. It’s just not lost on me. It’s a long, difficult road and I don’t love it.

I love food. Sure, I could have gone on some crazy strict diet but it seems to me that you are sacrificing enough when adjusting to parenthood, why should you sacrifice a great meal? We only live once, right?

Anyhow – my only point is – adjusting to the weight gain is just different for me in this pregnancy than it was in the last. My approach to food and what I’m eating and drinking is also different – and for the most part – more disciplined – because I also have a greater appreciation for how difficult it is to lose the unnecessary pounds you gain as a preggo. And surely we all can admit that we gained unnecessary pounds.

Lastly, DD has reverted, emotionally, particularly in the mornings. She is very emotional again – it’s similar to separation anxiety. She’ll stand on the other side of the shower door and cry until I get out. When I leave for work, she says “mommy, i don’t want you to go” as she’s crying or “i don’t want you to go to work” (on that one, i was like, “join the club, kiddo”). I most definitely cannot ever be in a different room than she is in the mornings, which as anyone else who has endured long bouts of separation anxiety knows, makes it extremely difficult to get ready and out the door even remotely on time.

It’s been a long time since she has been this emotional in the mornings and you combine that with an already hormonal, somewhat sleep deprived preggo – and it makes it VERY difficult to get out the door without tears on my end just about every morning.

Naturally, I’m left to ponder what is bringing on this behavioral change. Is it because she had 10 days with us on vacation last month and is older now, so she just doesn’t adjust back to being without us as easily as a baby does? She sure can express herself very clearly and she’s very good at that – including the lower lip coming out and the eyes filling with big tears. Is she just feeling sensitive lately? We all have our moments. Or then there is the school of thought that says that some children can intuitively sense when their mom is pregnant and things are changing and they revert.

I’ll be honest, I just don’t buy it. DD isn’t a dog smelling my crotch. I mean – come on. I just can’t really buy into that theory though people are as quick to throw out that theory as they are to predict the sex of your baby.

Who knows. All I know for certain is DD is in an emotional morning phase and like everything else, it will pass.

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Motherhood