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Category Archives: Motherhood

The Girl Child

July 16, 2008

Yesterday marked the half-way point of my pregnancy and we decided to find out whether the baby is a boy or a girl. The surprise was fun the first time around but my husband, in particular, really wanted to know this time.

So I conceded and as it turned out, for me personally, finding out the sex yesterday was way more fun and exciting than learning after the pain and exhaustion of enduring labor when all you care is that the baby is out of you.

So yesterday was an exciting day – and we learned that we are having another little girl – and so far, she’s happy and healthy and growing right on track. All is well in this world.

What puzzles and INFURIATES me is the response of many people over the news. To me – it was the most exciting news – one that could just be met with a simple “Congratulations.”

I mean, not only am I familiar with girls but I have three sisters – I understand the intensity and role of the relationship of a sister in your life. Maybe it’s not always sunshine and roses but sisters have a strong bond. Sure, brothers do too – but if you think of all the families you know – I’m pretty sure you think of more sister relationships with strong friendships than you do brothers.

And so, as I spread the news, the reaction I received from many people was, frankly, sexist – was I going to keep trying until I have a boy, or ANOTHER girl? And the best one “Well, how did DH take the news?”

Excuse me, is this communist China? Do we shudder at girl children? Does having a son prove something that I don’t know about? Is there somewhere that says that boy children are what completes a family because he carries on the family name? Let’s not forget that those sons wouldn’t be carrying on any family names without our little girls.

Being one of four girls, my father heard this all too often, especially when my mom was pregnant with my younger sister and my parents found it to be beyond insulting, patronizing and obnoxious. I feel the same way. I have countless friends who only have sisters and they all are quick to relay stories of how much their parents despised being asked these same questions. Meanwhile, when I come across families with only boys – the reaction is always one of “Wow, they must keep you so busy with all the energy in that house.” Or “Wow – so many boys!” Or something along those lines.

All I care about is having a healthy baby – but trust me – I am THRILLED to be having another little girl and so is my DH.

For many reasons, we don’t plan to have any more children, so our family will be more than complete with our two little girls.

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Motherhood

The Old Gray Mare

July 11, 2008

Ain’t what she used to be…….

Is there a similar song for men? I’ve spent the last few days trying to come up with one but have yet to figure it out. Can you think of any?

Well…as it turns out….it seems that there should be.

You might have missed this piece that was buried in the NYT Health blogs earlier this week but it seems that a woman’s age of 35+ isn’t the only thing that impacts fertility and success at conceiving a child. New research out this week shows that a man’s fertility can also be impacted once he turns 35.

Ahh…the old gray bull..ain’t what he used to be, now is he? Maybe his horns aren’t quite so sharp anymore either…so to speak.

This fascinates me on many levels. I don’t know one woman in her 30s who doesn’t think about what turning 35 means and can’t hear the biological clock ticking. This doesn’t mean that every woman I know in her 30s necessarily cares about it or even wants children but for those that think children are even a remote weight loss possibility, the clock striking midnight on the day a woman turns 35 can be a dark hour.

I mean hell – they even call it a “geriatric pregnancy.”

To be associated with the word “geriatric” at the ripe and beautiful age of 35 can do a lot to one’s psyche.

Meanwhile, men can be tip-toeing through the tulips and partying the night away, with nary a care in sight – and instead just figure they’ll score themselves some younger woman with ripe ovaries to spawn their offspring.

Think again, men. Your swimmers might be getting a little crotchety and dried up too…..I’d like to see more dialogue on this in the media, more attention given to this issue rather than the constant doldrum of fear forced on women that they are getting old and dried up:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/08/fathers-age-is-also-a-factor-in-fertility/

And speaking of fighting off age – every one of us should read this article in the Post and then consider upping our Vitamin D intake – I, for one, have dramatically increased the intake of Vitamin D for myself, DD and DH:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/03/AR2008070303822.html

Have a good weekend, kittens.

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Husbands, Motherhood

More on babies having babies

July 9, 2008

So this morning at the gym, I was catching up on the latest In Touch magazine and towards the back, found a small blurb on Jamie Lynn Spears. I know this is really going to shock you all – she’s finding motherhood more difficult than she anticipated. She is used to getting 10-12 hours of sleep and now is having to wake up every three hours (she should be freaking grateful she gets three hour stretches!). So apparently her mom is stepping in to help her but vows to not make her life too easy.

OK. First of all, shouldn’t her FIANCE be stepping in to help her? What exactly is he doing in this scenario because I’m pretty sure he had a hand in bringing this baby into the world.
And secondly – why is this buried in the back of the magazine?

Why must we tout pregnant teen “celebs” on front covers and all over the news when they announce pregnancies and announce the arrival of healthy babies into the world – but when reality sets in and life suddenly isn’t all sunshine and roses – the teen learns babies aren’t just chubby cheeks and dimples – but a shitload of exhausting work – shouldn’t THIS be the front cover story? Shouldn’t THIS be what they are covering on Access Hollywood?

How is burying that towards the back in a small blurb actually helping any teens out there?

It seems to me that if this girl is going to get her old gig back with Disney, and she’s going to be touted ANYWHERE as a celebrity and possible role model for other young girls (I cringe even writing that) then she ought to be forced onto the talk show circuit, and put on covers of teen magazines all over the place, talking about the REALITY of having a baby, how exhausting it is, what it did to her body, how draining never sleeping but a few hours in a row is, and how NOT rewarding it feels at first. This is a baby who had a baby. So let’s put it out there for all the world to learn from. No one should care how she’s getting her body back or what her future TV deals are if we haven’t heard the truth out of her first.

In that vein, if anyone else is following the “Baby Borrowers” show on NBC, know that I am very much looking forward to watching the wrath of the toddlers brought on these dumb teens this week. The thing that has surprised me the most about this show so far, beyond how incredibly painful some of the teenage girls are to watch for even one second, is how mature most of the teen boys are. I cannot believe how quickly they stepped up to the plate and really stood in when their pathetic, whiney, princess, immature girlfriends cried because they didn’t want to wear a pregnancy suit or didn’t like being put in their place by the moms, or didn’t like being disrupted at night. Most of those girls are making me sick. Kudos for the boys for being mature.

And finally – two more celebrity babies, born to ADULTS, arrived this week. So let’s re-start the mocking of celebrity baby names we so love to play. What’s with Nicole Kidman’s daughter’s name? SUNDAY Rose? I mean, come the f on, Nicki Kids. Sunday? Think she went anywhere and introduced herself as “Sunday” to see how that goes over amongst mature adults? So freaking stupid. And then we hear the justifications about all the spiritual reasons behind the name and how it’s part of the name of the islands where they honeymooned, and on and on, and it still seems equally as dumb of a name to me.

I heard on the radio that Matthew McConaughey’s son is named Levi, which frankly I think is really cute, so I won’t mock that. Plus I am amazed at how incredibly beautiful his Brazilian model girlfriend is, each and every time I see a picture of her, so really – Levi is going to be so hot.

That’s enough ranting for me today.

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Celebrities, Motherhood

Tranquility and Peace

July 1, 2008

Gather round, kittens, for if you have children at home – the story I have to tell today is like lore. You’ll have to dust off this corner of your brain and really think hard to remember a time like this. Many of you will think it can’t be. Some of you won’t even remember. But I am here to help you breathe out the anger and feel the peace. It is such a lovely place to be.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Over the weekend, we went to the beach to celebrate my sister’s birthday. We had a great weekend and after tucking DD into bed on Sunday night at my mom’s house, DH and I hit the road, back home. My mom wanted to keep DD for a few days and what kid wouldn’t rather be at the beach in the summer than in their boring old house?

And so it began yesterday but escalated to a new level of calm today. CHILDLESS MORNINGS.

Rather than catching up on the same episode of “Little Bill,” “Diego” or “Wonder Pets” and battling with an irrational 2.5 year old over why breakfast is important and why she IS eating it despite her loud protests to the contrary, then handling the emotional stress of her not wanting mommy to leave for work, today I had the house TO MYSELF.

I arrived home from the gym to find DH out front watering ( NOTE: he is obsessed with green grass, he will fall victim to butt dead brown grass by month’s end, we go through this exercise every summer, but he is still holding out hope that this year, just this one year, he will have the greenest looking pasture of them all. And who am I to crush that dream?). He soon thereafter finished watering and left for work at 7am.

This meant – JUST ME.

Think back kittens.

To the last time at 7am on a random Tuesday morning that you were the only person making noise in your own house.

DH had my coffee made, the paper out – it was the life of a queen. I lounged in front of the “Today” show.

I almost didn’t recognize anyone on the TV screen, it’s been so long. So, we reacquainted ourselves.

I read the paper.

I drank coffee. (yes, decaf, for any preggo police out there).

But it wasn’t just any old cup of coffee, it was WARM COFFEE.

I read my horoscope.

I leisurely got ready for work.

No drama, no tears, I even had time to look in a full length mirror and then get to work on time, without plowing down an old lady with a cane to make the light or tail-gating some new teen driver to get past them and save a minute here and there.

It is true. It is all true. It is a morning of yester-year. A foreign place and time to really almost anyone reading this blog. Treat it like it was your own kittens.

The only thing missing was a view of the water, the soft crashing waves and a hot houseboy.

But really – just the peace and quiet of a random Tuesday was more than enough for me.

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Motherhood