Category Archives: Motherhood

The Things People Say

Being a 6 month preggo, I could easily write a posting on all the outrageous, obnoxious and offensive things people say to you when you are pregnant – but really – there’s nothing that I can relay to my dear readers that any of you haven’t heard before. Why the body becomes public commentary when pregnant never ceases to amaze me, but such is the reality of being pregnant, right? We move on because it ain’t gonna change.

So instead, I’d like to blog on other insane and strange things people say once becoming parents. I’m sure to get at least one person all riled up today….and well..my claws are out….

Why do some mothers make comments like this about their husbands:

“Oh, he just loves the baby so much. You just can’t believe how much he loves her (him) and dotes on her (him).”

Why? Ladies? WHY?

Know that I am rolling my eyes and throwing up in my mouth each time I hear this.

If you’re not sure why, then allow me to explain.

OF COURSE HE LOVES HIS CHILD  – HE IS THE FATHER.

Why does anyone feel the need to say that out loud? Isn’t that a given? When have you ever heard a husband saying “Oh, she just loves the baby so much, you wouldn’t believe how much my wife dotes on the baby.”

I mean – come on people. We KNOW your husband loves the baby! And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t feel like others need to be told that he loves his child.

So is it something people say because they don’t know what else to say? Because they are just sort of amazed with watching their husband become a father? Because they are insecure and were worried their husband WOULDN’T love the child? I just don’t get it. It just makes me talk about them with my husband later that night.

It’s kind of like when people marvel about how their husbands are home “babysitting” the baby if the mom has to be out one night for whatever reason. Is the mom “babysitting” her child when the dad is out late one night? I never hear it described as such. Frankly, I never hear it mentioned whatsoever. So why do women use the word “Babysitting” for their husbands watching their own spawn?

Again – I can’t blame husbands for any of this – I never hear them making these dumb ass comments.

Toddler as Feminist?

What is the old adage, out of the mouth of babes?

Well, I experienced that first hand over the weekend and I must tell you, my heart was beaming with pride.

Let me set the stage.

We’ve been talking about the joys and wonders of having a baby sister around our house for a few weeks. We talk about DD’s friends who all have a baby brother or baby sister, we talk about the fun things we can do with a baby sister, and we’ve started reading a few books at bed time about bringing home a baby sister.  It seemed to us that it just made sense to start generically talking about babies before dropping the old “oh, and you’re getting one, like it or not, come this fall” on her.

DD is like a teen. Some times when we ask her if she wants a baby sister, her response is “uh huh” and other times it’s a flat out “No.”

I love it.
Kind of like each time you ask her what she wants to be for Halloween, it’s different, ranging from a flower to a pumpkin to cowboy Dora (because she happened to be holding Cowgirl Dora at that moment and what’s the difference…cowboy, cowgirl?). Again, we don’t put much weight in the opinions of someone approaching 3.

Until Saturday evening, that is. I was reading her a story about a monster family and the day the Daddy announces the new baby sister is coming home. We were about half-way through this very age appropriate book when DD looks up at me and poses this question: “But where is the daddy?”

It had never even occurred to me.

So the daddy opens the story with informing the son that the baby sister is coming home, then he’s seen removing the jacket from the mom as she walks in the door holding the new baby sister and then..low and behold..he is not spotted again until the last page when the family is taking a walk together. Through the middle of the book, the mommy is always showing the little boy what fun things you can (and cannot) do with a baby sister, including changing stinky diapers and tickling baby’s tummy.

How brilliant DD’s observation was! Where is the daddy? Why was he not doing any of the leg work with the baby?

I was so proud. And furthermore, it was clearly a testament to her own dad and how engaged he is in her daily routine that she was struck by the total and complete absence of the father in the story.

Out of the mouth of babes, right?

Ever heard of this?

Ok kittens – today is my last post until next Wednesday. I am off to New Orleans tomorrow for work — and then am taking a long weekend. Based on the comments and high traffic from last week’s “The Girl Child” post – you better believe I will be writing a follow-up on that subject next week.

Today, I was going to just rant about some celebrity gossip, namely how in the hell is Nicole Kidman that thin so quickly and was she really even ever preggo? Or is Jenny Garner really five mos preggo? Cause I’m five mos preggo and well…we don’t look the same, no matter how similar our pre-pregnancy bodies are…..

But, then I stumbled upon this and frankly, I am speechless. I’m sure many of you recall quite fondly the ice pack you are given for your vag post-partum. Man I loved that thing. It was the only thing that made me feel better. Well..ever heard of vaginal popsicles?

http://www.lilsugar.com/1746131

I have nothing more to say.

A bientot. Look for me again next Wednesday.

Paging Supernanny

As all my die-hard fans know, my DD is 2.5 years old and I believe the most recent word a random stranger used to describe her was “spitfire.”

Like her mommy, she doesn’t go down without a fight. And well, given her age, on most days, I like that about her. She’s no one’s doormat to step on on their way into the house. But sometimes, as anyone who is parenting a toddler knows, sometimes it’s just really draining. There are no words.

We all know every child is different, so I only know my own. Her extreme tantrums really started to peak shortly after she turned two last November and by January, there were many days when she brought me to tears and I couldn’t understand the fury that had been unleashed on the house. But, we powered through, we were as consistent as you can be with discipline, rules, standing firm and she’s gotten better, slowly. Along the way I learned how to judge other parents a whole lot less..and I also came to appreciate why people have total brats – it’s just easier. Don’t get me wrong – we wouldn’t tolerate that in our house – but again – I can see how it happens. It’s a lot of work to stay on top of a toddler.

So after fighting the good fight with her, I’m not sure I’d use the word “civilized” to describe her now vs. the winter because again, she’s just two, but she is more respectful and aware of boundaries. How’s that for diplomatic?

So my point is – things have been better for us lately. We’re not averaging 6 tantrums in the morning before I even get out the door to work anymore. There are still days when she looks at me filled with hatred and disgust that I would offer her Mac’n’Cheese, typically the only thing she eats on any given day, but again – isn’t that why life with a toddler is so…well…exciting? Who can predict anything?

But enter last night. For whatever reason, DD hadn’t napped well all weekend and this is a kid who goes a million miles a minute when awake but damn does she love and appreciate her beauty sleep. So she hadn’t napped well and it was time for bath and bed…and it began….the tantrum of epic proportions.

It went on for a solid 25 minutes. Think it was hard to hear your sweet baby crying for even 5 minutes back in the day? Just imagine, unless you know it first hand, a completely irrational toddler kicking viciously and screaming for a full 25 minutes. It felt like an eternity. But unlike with a newborn, my heart wasn’t breaking with a deep need to solace their her…trust me…..this is a completely different feeling.

There were a few times I looked around the room, feeling sure that there were hidden cameras in my house and Supernanny was going to come busting in the door. Could my child be a future Oscar winner? Is it possible someone put her up to this and she was able to understand the rules, time it so well, and carry it out so forcefully and dramatically, I began to hope, trying to make sense out of the nonsensical.

Now, a savvier parent might have been able to anticipate this tantrum an hour or so earlier when I was urging her to come to the table for dinner and after a long explanation of how she wasn’t hungry and didn’t want dinner, she eventually was able to force herself into the kitchen, completely hunched over, walking slowly, with her hand dramatically draped across her eyes as if she was a hunch back and was being guided to her death – a public hanging, nonetheless.

Anyhow –  DD kept up the good fight to the bitter end. We didn’t end up pursuing bath time last night as it took both my DH and myself and our full strength to get her clothes off and just put her PJs on. I almost gave up on that and just put her to bed in what she was wearing. But it was her ability to keep it going to the bitter end that amazed me.

I took her upstairs and put her in bed. I pointed out that while we love her very much, she was so bad tonight that she wouldn’t get any stories or songs before bed – and if she wants stories and songs again, she has to follow the rules and go have a bath when we say it’s bath time. Would you believe that the entire time, DD had the steely glaze of hatred pasted on her face, with her eyes slanted and just wishing death upon me? I mean, if looks could kill, I am dead on her bedroom floor and was as of 7:30pm last night.

In the end, not only was it exhausting, but I couldn’t believe how much I felt like we were “that” family- the one we all watch on those dumb reality shows and mock because they are such idiots with no control over their lives.

Ahh…the joys of parenting a toddler.  So very humbling.