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Category Archives: Motherhood

The Final Debate

October 16, 2008

I’m sure I’m not the only one who is glad the presidential debates are now done. Last night’s debate didn’t reveal a lot of new insights into either candidate, I thought Obama continued to demonstrate how calm, cool and collected he is no matter how aggressively he is being attacked. And for anyone watching on a split-screen, I think there is no doubt that McCain is a grumpy old man who can barely contain himself.

That being said, in the final thirty minutes of the final debate, FINALLY an issue directly related to women’s issues was raised – it’s about freaking time people. I mean -all hail Bob Schieffer for thinking outside the box and asking some different questions last night – and I was thrilled when he raised the issue of Roe V. Wade and appointing Supreme Court Justices. Amen brother. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the outcome of this election is vitally important because the next new president will either tilt the Supreme Court to being completely conservative and republican or will help maintain some balance with their appointees.

In case you were dozing off by this late hour, I’d like to be sure that you all noticed the part where McCain sneered and mocked Obama, in his attempt to cow-tail to the extreme right pro-lifers, and mocked the importance of “the health of the mother.”

Ahh yes….that funny old thing about the health of a pregnant woman…..I had forgotten about how freaking HILARIOUS that is because it’s so unimportant when instead considering the vitality and strength of the fetus. Indeed, silly me. Silly Obama. Silly us – whatever were we thinking to care about the health of a pregnant woman?

Pimp my house, yo

September 30, 2008

Like all customers, it started innocently enough….I just got my feet wet….but before I knew it, I’d become the Elliot Spitzer of the home project world with my nanny as my pimp.

Sure, I’m not crossing state lines with prostitutes and I’m pretty sure the FBI isn’t surveilling me but seriously, I am ADDICTED.

See, I used to think I needed a wife. Now I’ve realized I have something better – a nanny. I tell her what I want done, she finds me the right people for the right price and before I know it – they are at my house, wrapping up various odds and ends. I come home from work and it’s all done. Finished. Complete. With no real effort on my part.

It’s like being a man and just showing up one day and getting a baby!

What prompted all of this?

The same thing that leads blossoming politicians and presidents astray, I’m sure, I just got tired of waiting for my DH to get it done.

It began with just some leaves being cleaned up and bagged and taken away. They’d been in that corner of our yard for THREE YEARS. With that first time, I was nervous and I didn’t tell my spouse, I just arranged for the job to get done. What I forgot was he would be home that day to take DD to school and he called saying “Who is Jose and why is he in our yard?”

HA – busted.

But see, Jose came and he took it all away and that corner of my back yard never looked better.

So I was hooked. What else was bothering me? What else needed done and the response from DH was always this: “I’ll get to it.”

Uh huh…sure you will.

As it turns out, there is SO MUCH to be done around the house…and the nanny has someone for everything.

Now DH is fully on board with this..he doesn’t even ask…he just acknowledges when something is fixed and nods his head. He sees the beauty in the nanny as our pimp. I am in hog heaven. Things have never been so clean, so organized and so expeditiously done chez moi.

So for all of you who also joined me in believing you need a wife – it turns out it’s not true! You just need a nanny as your pimp – and I’d recommend you cut your husband out of the process – just tell her what you need, settle on a price – and get it done. It’s magical.

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Husbands, Motherhood, Nanny

Early Riser Police

September 26, 2008

Well kittens….I’ve reached a conclusion. After three weeks without the passie and consistent 5am wake-ups, its time for a new approach chez moi.

I kept holding out hope that DD would inch her way back to waking somewhere after 6am, as she’d been doing for some time, but now that so much time has passed, it’s clear to me that I need a new plan of attack.

Some of you might be wondering what’s taken me so long to reach this moment of clarity….but if you combine the sleeplessness that comes with your third trimester in combo with a toddler waking you up every day at 5am, it makes moments of clarity few and far between. But the time has come.

So what am I going to do, you wonder?

Get out my whistle and police siren….because the KT sheriff has pulled into town and she’s as bad as she wants to be, that’s what I’m going to do!

In other words, the old “OK, now you need to be a big girl and if you wake up and it’s still dark outside, that means you need to go back to sleep and wait until the sun comes up” – logic is clearly not working. I know she understands. But here’s the difference – she doesn’t care.

And we’ve already established this is a child who will NOT let you climb into bed with her and cuddle her back to sleep, nor will she come into our bed to cuddle up and go back to sleep, or really even watch cartoons. So, I’m going to quit rewarding her.

Starting tomorrow morning, I’ll put her on the potty, put her in some underpants, then put her back in her room and tell her she doesn’t come downstairs until the sun is up. No more playing, no cartoons, not when it’s the middle of the night.

This will go over about as successfully as McCain’s pathetic ploy to delay the debates and demonstrate leadership.

But I will stand firm. I’m prepared for her to scream and shout and carry on and for there to be much drama for many days until she finally realizes that my will outlast hers.

What time will I pull her out? Who knows. The ideal would be to leave her up until 6:30 – being realistic. Of course anytime after 7am is really ideal, but I’m living in reality. I’m thinking to even get to 6am will be enough because it’s not like she’ll just quietly acquiesce and play for 45 minutes. But mark my words, victory will be mine and we will eventually get to 6:30am.

We’re going head-to-head.

So if you find yourself up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow morning, know that I’m right there with you, playing bad ass with a determined 3-year old who clearly thinks she doesn’t need her beauty sleep.

I will report back in next week with how this approach is going.

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Motherhood

HMW Seeking 1HS

September 23, 2008

You might be wondering what it is, I’m seeking, exactly.

Well, as die-hard KT fans know (and there are thousands of you), almost two years ago I blogged about being a Happily Married Wife (HMW) in search of well, a wife: http://kittytime.wordpress.com/2006/12/14/hmw-seeks-ftw/

Right now, my demands are much less, my expectations much lower, perhaps parenthood continues to get the best of me and beat me down, who knows. This time around, I’m just a HMW seeking 1 Hour of Sleep. (1HS)

Why? you ask.

Let me tell you.

Seems that the disposal of the passie has worked out just great for DD but not so awesome for DH and myself. In fact, on Sunday night we jokingly (though secretly not jokingly) talked about giving her back the passie just to get that one more hour of sleep.

You got it kittens, DD has resorted to her old baby-like ways and now rises for the day EVERY DAY in the 5am hour. There is no coaxing her back to sleep, or coaxing her into our bed, or even zoning out in front of “Diego.”

She is up and raring to go. She wants to PLAY!

The cruel twist of fate! Who would have guessed that by torturing her with forcing her to bid adieu to her beloved passie, she would turn the tables on us and torture us, seemingly indefinitely. Ahh, the wily and unexpected tricks of the toddler-set. They are always one-step ahead, those toddlers.

The regular 5am wake up is catching up to both of us. Last night after dinner my DH quietly disappeared, after a while, I began to wonder where he was. It was 8:15pm.

Oh, he was in bed sleeping, with all the lights on, faking like he really wasn’t down for the night.

Probably dreaming of passie fairies making their grand and unexpected return to our home, delivering that one big wish we have, just one more hour of sleep.

Anyhow – clearly we aren’t giving her back the passie so that we can sleep an hour longer. But you better believe that I am looking into resurrecting Mothers Against Daylight Savings (MADS – remember that from last year: http://kittytime.wordpress.com/2007/11/05/mads/) because it will, of course, become a 4am wake-up call for at least one week after the time changes.

All of this with the arrival of the new baby sister on the horizon.

Sleep is clearly over-rated and we are just getting ready for the continued loss of it chez moi, apparently……

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Husbands, Motherhood