I figured, Oprah does it, so why can’t I? So today, you are gonna get the inaugural KT “My Favorite Things” List.

Over the course of the past few weeks, I seized on the opportunity to go to the grocery store without my two children. It’s amazing how quickly and efficiently you can tear through a grocery store when you’re up against the great baby-preschooler clock….it’s like I can hear the hands tick-tocking at full blast in my head as I bolt through the aisles hoping for the best. But see, at least they keep me straight, DD1 and DD2. When they are along, if it ain’t on the list, it ain’t in the cart. There’s no dawdling in grocery shopping with children.

So, on these rare and wonderful opportunities to peruse the grocery store solo (and also noteworthy, I was headed to a very well-stocked and brand new grocery store by my mom’s house. Apparently I live in communist Russia circa 1982 because the Safeway by my house is so sparse, I’m in shock when I can even find a packet of frozen chicken, let alone a package of diapers) – I found some of the leading contenders in the KT list.

Now – before we go any further – let’s review some of the sad and pathetic realities of my inaugural KT list.

One – I have made it clear that I ENJOY going to the grocery store (without children). PC (pre-children), I loathed going to the grocery store. Now, I don’t really think about it, except when I’m cursing and banging my cart around my communist safeway (truthfully, i don’t go there – it’s gross. only DH gets sent there when we are low on something stupid. otherwise I just go to Whole Foods. It’s not dirty. And the flowers are pretty. Like me. Plus most Targets have groceries now thus my bi-monthly $400 benders).

Two – the items I am most excited about on my very own hot list – are from the GROCERY STORE.

Not a cool store.

Or a boutique.

Or Europe.

Or even freaking Macys.

But the GROCERY STORE.

Pathetic?

Yes.

Efficient and realistic?

Yes.

So let’s get started.

The new John Frieda Root Awakening Shampoo and Conditioner has changed my life. When I am done blow drying my hair after a shampoo with it, I look like I’ve just stepped out of the salon. Not to mention how fabulous my hair smells. I swear, when I step out of the bathroom, there is a fan blowing my hair just perfectly off my face and I can hear a gasp of pleasure from the crowd.

I actually look forward to showering so that I can use it and smell it and be oh-so-pretty. C’est vrai. Even in this 100 degree heat, for a few minutes, before I am lapping the house after a child or I step outside for one second, my hair looks good.

My other fav grocery store item – Nivea’s Touch of Happiness body wash. It might even make me happy. Seriously. Love it. I love it so much, that in anticipation of the communist regime here in Maryland, I swooped the last two off the shelves the other day at Target, figuring I’d never see it again.

I love to shower.  I smell pretty.

Now – for a non-hygienic tip – ummm….the move Julie & Julia. Shame on you if you haven’t seen it yet. Clearly if you haven’t seen this movie then you don’t love the following things:

France

Butter

Food

Super fun Valentine’s Parties

Did I mention food?

Seriously – the movie had me on a high for like an entire day and I can’t wait to see it again.

And while we are on the subject of media, I am obsessed with Discovery Health’s “I didn’t know I was pregnant“. It airs on Tuesday nights at 9pm, I think. And I really can’t look away. Are these women seriously in that much denial? Is it really possible to be in labor and NOT notice you were pregnant?  Can you really be that stupid or is denial really that powerful? Whatever the case may be, it is so incredulous, this show, that I really can’t get enough of it. Tune it. Tuesday nights are lame anyway.

After spending much of the summer at the beach, I would love to be writing about my new favorite beach cover-up that suits the needs of a busy mom on the beach – a mom who might have a few curves, shall we say, a mom who wants to look stylish and hip but is wearing something practical (and I might add, without long sleeves because unlike most beach cover-up makers, I tend to go to beaches were it’s, umm, hot out) – but I still have yet to find said beach cover-up. I keep looking and looking. This cover-up will make it to the top of my list when I find her. I have to believe she is out there.

I thought about writing about some of my favorite things for DD1 and DD2. But let’s keep this about me, shall we?

Tune in again kittens. This won’t be my first and last KT List.

There’s this idea floating out there that simultaneously perplexes me and irritates the hell out of me. It’s this notion of being the perfect whatever – perfect mother, perfect body, perfect spouse (puke), perfect employee. Perfection.

What does that mean?

And what happens when you are perfect?

And who decides what makes you perfect?

With motherhood, is it being happy and patient with your children, always having cleverly planned activities for them balanced with developmental playtime at home? Is it also balancing your career and your house and your marriage while being a superb mother? Is it also having a great body and perfectly coiffed hair and outfits whenever you step out of your home?

Give me a freaking break.

Seriously – it’s the same as striving to be some kind of supermom. Or super-employee. Or model like body.

Why do people hold themselves up to this unattainable and absurd standard all the time? Why do I constantly hear people talking about it? What does any of it prove? Are people really so insecure that somehow they believe that if they attain this definition of perfection, then their life will somehow improve?

And why does it irritate me so? I mean, I am dramatically rolling my eyes and throwing up in my mouth whenever I hear someone say it – whether it’s some naive preggo who has no idea what kind of mack truck is going to hit them when the baby arrives or some annoying parent or some dumb TV anchor doing another feature on supermoms.

I think it annoys me because it’s a waste of time and emotion.
But the truth is, we all hold ourselves up against someone for some reason. We might not admit it, but I’m pretty sure we do – even if we know it’s silly – we are still doing it. Even if we’re not even striving for perfection. Sometimes I might just be striving to get out the door with brushed teeth.

Usually, I think this happens because someone in our circle of friends has achieved a milestone in their life that we haven’t but very much want too – whether that be career accomplishments, marriage, the birth of a child, buying a new home. Maybe for some it’s even buying a vacation home.

Last week, I read a column in the Washington Post by Carolyn Hax about this very topic. I really recommend everyone read it. The basic idea being that someone was dining with friends, all of whom are married, all the wives pregnant, and everyone seemingly successful professionally.

On the surface, it seems like this group of friends have all achieved perfection and oddly, at the same time in their lives.

Meanwhile the person writing in is single, not happy in her career and battling depression. She was looking for advice on how to not seem like a basket case in comparison. Carolyn’s response was brilliant, in my view, because she really pointed out the perspective that life is a long, windy road with many ups and downs, and what this person was getting at the dinner was a snapshot in time of those people’s lives.

This really struck a chord with me.

It’s very easy to make assumptions when all you have is a snapshot – the whole picture is never quite what it seems.

It was a healthy dose of “grass is always greener” perspective. I urge you to read it. Even if I am a week late in writing about it.