So this morning at the gym, I was catching up on the latest In Touch magazine and towards the back, found a small blurb on Jamie Lynn Spears. I know this is really going to shock you all – she’s finding motherhood more difficult than she anticipated. She is used to getting 10-12 hours of sleep and now is having to wake up every three hours (she should be freaking grateful she gets three hour stretches!). So apparently her mom is stepping in to help her but vows to not make her life too easy.

OK. First of all, shouldn’t her FIANCE be stepping in to help her? What exactly is he doing in this scenario because I’m pretty sure he had a hand in bringing this baby into the world.
And secondly – why is this buried in the back of the magazine?

Why must we tout pregnant teen “celebs” on front covers and all over the news when they announce pregnancies and announce the arrival of healthy babies into the world – but when reality sets in and life suddenly isn’t all sunshine and roses – the teen learns babies aren’t just chubby cheeks and dimples – but a shitload of exhausting work – shouldn’t THIS be the front cover story? Shouldn’t THIS be what they are covering on Access Hollywood?

How is burying that towards the back in a small blurb actually helping any teens out there?

It seems to me that if this girl is going to get her old gig back with Disney, and she’s going to be touted ANYWHERE as a celebrity and possible role model for other young girls (I cringe even writing that) then she ought to be forced onto the talk show circuit, and put on covers of teen magazines all over the place, talking about the REALITY of having a baby, how exhausting it is, what it did to her body, how draining never sleeping but a few hours in a row is, and how NOT rewarding it feels at first. This is a baby who had a baby. So let’s put it out there for all the world to learn from. No one should care how she’s getting her body back or what her future TV deals are if we haven’t heard the truth out of her first.

In that vein, if anyone else is following the “Baby Borrowers” show on NBC, know that I am very much looking forward to watching the wrath of the toddlers brought on these dumb teens this week. The thing that has surprised me the most about this show so far, beyond how incredibly painful some of the teenage girls are to watch for even one second, is how mature most of the teen boys are. I cannot believe how quickly they stepped up to the plate and really stood in when their pathetic, whiney, princess, immature girlfriends cried because they didn’t want to wear a pregnancy suit or didn’t like being put in their place by the moms, or didn’t like being disrupted at night. Most of those girls are making me sick. Kudos for the boys for being mature.

And finally – two more celebrity babies, born to ADULTS, arrived this week. So let’s re-start the mocking of celebrity baby names we so love to play. What’s with Nicole Kidman’s daughter’s name? SUNDAY Rose? I mean, come the f on, Nicki Kids. Sunday? Think she went anywhere and introduced herself as “Sunday” to see how that goes over amongst mature adults? So freaking stupid. And then we hear the justifications about all the spiritual reasons behind the name and how it’s part of the name of the islands where they honeymooned, and on and on, and it still seems equally as dumb of a name to me.

 I heard on the radio that Matthew McConaughey’s son is named Levi, which frankly I think is really cute, so I won’t mock that. Plus I am amazed at how incredibly beautiful his Brazilian model girlfriend is, each and every time I see a picture of her, so really – Levi is going to be so hot.

That’s enough ranting for me today.

Once again, work is totally sabotaging my efforts at blogging. How can this be? What kind of cruel reality do I live in that it can be 110 with the humidity the first week of June AND work can be so insanely busy that I don’t have time to play? Life is so cruel sometimes.

With that, I’m going to give you some random links to wet your whistle until I have more time to play – which sadly – will be next week.

First off – we’ve all heard by now that Jessica Alba delivered a baby girl over the weekend. But why – why – why did she name her HONOR?
What the hell kind of name is that to give a girl? Especially when baby’s daddy’s name is CASH?

Is it me – or are they just begging for a twist of irony and this girl will end up being the next call girl busted with a Governor? I mean – Honor? Conceived out of wedlock? Who’s daddy’s name = MONEY.

It bewilders me. And yes, it bewilders me at a time when there are so many more important things to find bewildering. Like why is gas over $4 a gallon? And how can I get rich off that instead of pissed off when I fill up my tank? And who will Obama pick for his running mate? And does anyone even give a shit about who McCain will pick? I’m going to go out on a limb and just say he’ll pick someone younger than him. He has too.

Oh and white. And male. Those crazy Republicans.

In case you felt the need to start pondering the pleasure zone that is your marital bed o’love – then you ought to read this piece from Sunday’s NYT about two couples who did it every day for like 100 days. Or was it 365 days? I got lost in my own thoughts of trying to understand who in their right mind would sign up for that? Beyond pimply faced teens on prom night?

I’m just going to warn you though, after you read this piece, you WILL end up wondering if your sex life is really that interesting, what other peoples are like and should you be doing something more risky about it….you’ve been warned.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/08/fashion/08nights.html?em&ex=1213243200&en=d0ee9652453428ea&ei=5087%0A

For those of you who might need a laugh, here’s a link to another NYT Sunday styles piece but this one ran two weeks ago – and honestly – it’s freaking hilarious. It’s about rich people who aren’t as rich anymore because of the economy. Boo hoo for them.

Anyhow, it’s about obnoxious New Yorkers who are only going to make like $8 million this year instead of $20 million and how they are worried their wives will leave them when they learn their self-worth has dropped and that GASP – these kept women would need to go on a BUDGET.

If you are that much of a selfish wench, how can you possibly find another man who is willing to marry you? This is what I was left wondering.

Maybe those women have some bedroom tricks that the rest of us need to learn.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/01/fashion/01rich.html?scp=1&sq=Wealthy+New+Yorkers+%2B+Economic+Downturn&st=nyt

And I leave you with this, kittens, in case you are wondering what else I find myself wondering on random Tuesday afternoons, it is this: Why hasn’t some brilliant female scientist figured out a way to let men be the ones who get pregnant?