There’s a belief out there that has bothered me for years, and reading a friend’s blog today, reminded me again how much it bothers me. This idea of the “good” baby. If you’ve had a baby (and – whimper – today is my baby’s second birthday. how is that possible???), then you probably have heard: “She is such a good baby.”
WTF does that mean?!?!?!! Have you ever found yourself wondering this? Are there bad, evil babies that pour battery acid into other babies bottles, laughing maniacally? My sisters like to joke that my babies used to sit there and judge them….but that doesn’t count as a bad baby. That’s just hilarious-expression on her face baby. So where is this bad baby that makes my baby seem so good?
Are babies “good” when they are quiet and cute and “bad” when they scream and are stinky? Is that what it is? Seriously – who has a bad baby? And is it all just about how much they cry? Cause I’m of the belief that babies who cry a bunch aren’t getting their needs met by their parents, not that they are “bad.”
So wait – I am getting a stroke of sheer brilliance here – what people should really say is “Wow, this baby is so quiet, you are such GREAT PARENTS.”
I mean – isn’t that what this idea is all about? This baby isn’t bothering me, so this baby is good. This baby is bothering me, so this baby is bad, these parents must have such hard work at home because of this “bad” baby. I move to strike this whole idea of good and bad babies from our heads.
And speaking of babies, why is mine 2 already? Why?
Quite funny that this post has come up. Just recently someone told me about how good my children were, but followed it with “You know that I am complementing you when I say this”. It was the first time that anyone had ever said this to me. And yes that is the case, my kids are good for a reason! Happy 2nd Birthday too!
There are no bad babies, just people who practice thoughtless or weak parenting. True, there are babies who are sickly or colicky that can be a pain in the ass and need extra attention at the cost of a parents’ sanity, but most babies are blameless. I have a whole diatribe on thoughtless or weak parenting but we can save that for another post!