One of KT’s dear friends sent along the below two links. She indicated that she felt in tune with both pieces being a happily married woman in her 30s, focused on her career, and unsure of her path to parenthood.
Will she have a baby? Won’t she? Who knows.
Sure, she knows she has the ideal situation for bringing a child into this world: a loving husband, a great marriage, a beautiful house, and a strong financial foundation with which to support said unborn, unfertilized child.
But just because she has those things doesn’t mean she will – or should – necessarily go on to become a mother. Right?
Right.
Can I get a strong shout out for support, people?
Before I even considered getting pregnant and was a similar happily married woman in her 30s, with a career, and a house, and no pitter patter of small feet in the halls, no one ever offended me or pushed me to have kids. I never came across these people that get in your face and push the joys of parenthood. Instinctively I despise these people but I’ve yet to really find them. You better believe there’s a part of me that would like to inquire – are they the God-loving, Church-going people that voted Bush into office a second time? Because I definitely don’t know those people.
Either way, since having a child, I still haven’t come across these people and I assure you, if I did, I would interrupt them and call them out on such horrid behavior. Again – just because parents of children have discovered that there is nothing more fulfilling, doesn’t mean that EVERYONE will feel that way. And most importantly, it sure as hell doesn’t mean everyone SHOULD BE a parent.
There is little that saddens me more than hearing of a sweet young baby that’s been brought into this world and isn’t in a loving, nurturing environment. Not everyone is equipped to handle the job. And even if they are, they like their life as it is and there isn’t anything wrong with that.
That being said, I also take issue with women in their 30s who claim to want to have kids later, and yet spend their time judging women their same age for “giving it all up” for their kids, or for “not finding time for themselves” and this is my personal favorite – the horror and disgust on their face when the woman that used to work late and on the weekends – now dashes out the door at 5pm (ahem, or before) to get home to her baby.
Yes – there are women out there who are incredibly judgemental of other working mom’s – even though they make clear that at some point – they INTEND to be a working mom.
SO kittens – I guess what I’m saying is that this dance we do of judgement goes both ways, sometimes, and quite sadly.
And really, at the end of the day, we’re just doing it to each other. Where are the men? You think they are off judging each other for having or not having kids? Or for how and when they work or spend their free time?
Hell no. You think those thoughts have ever crossed their little minds?
And so, I leave you with two links. The first, I really liked a lot. The second, she really started to lose me on page two and sounds to me like a small hard-headed child who’s just trying to prove a point.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/familyandparenting/raisingkids/articleab.aspx?cp-documentid=454101>1=10215
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19762056/site/newsweek/page/2/
what makes me want to crawl into a hole is that we’re having this social debate on a national level in the first place. I do believe that the conversation is important to the resolution. But right now it just feels like a lot of people who are talk talk talking, when really this is a matter of mutual respect and attempted understanding. Everyone’s reality is her/his own. period. Whatever you’re experiencing is happy or hard for you, and may not be the same for others. So we can never pretend to be in someone else’s shoes, and why do some people try? Or, more importantly, why do some people disregard others’ shoes, preferring to step all over them? And finally, stop projecting, people. It’s really unbecoming. You never know someone else’s reality.