Being a 6 month preggo, I could easily write a posting on all the outrageous, obnoxious and offensive things people say to you when you are pregnant – but really – there’s nothing that I can relay to my dear readers that any of you haven’t heard before. Why the body becomes public commentary when pregnant never ceases to amaze me, but such is the reality of being pregnant, right? We move on because it ain’t gonna change.
So instead, I’d like to blog on other insane and strange things people say once becoming parents. I’m sure to get at least one person all riled up today….and well..my claws are out….
Why do some mothers make comments like this about their husbands:
“Oh, he just loves the baby so much. You just can’t believe how much he loves her (him) and dotes on her (him).”
Why? Ladies? WHY?
Know that I am rolling my eyes and throwing up in my mouth each time I hear this.
If you’re not sure why, then allow me to explain.
OF COURSE HE LOVES HIS CHILD – HE IS THE FATHER.
Why does anyone feel the need to say that out loud? Isn’t that a given? When have you ever heard a husband saying “Oh, she just loves the baby so much, you wouldn’t believe how much my wife dotes on the baby.”
I mean – come on people. We KNOW your husband loves the baby! And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t feel like others need to be told that he loves his child.
So is it something people say because they don’t know what else to say? Because they are just sort of amazed with watching their husband become a father? Because they are insecure and were worried their husband WOULDN’T love the child? I just don’t get it. It just makes me talk about them with my husband later that night.
It’s kind of like when people marvel about how their husbands are home “babysitting” the baby if the mom has to be out one night for whatever reason. Is the mom “babysitting” her child when the dad is out late one night? I never hear it described as such. Frankly, I never hear it mentioned whatsoever. So why do women use the word “Babysitting” for their husbands watching their own spawn?
Again – I can’t blame husbands for any of this – I never hear them making these dumb ass comments.
Actually, your previous blog reveals some insight as to why this is. Look at the book you reference. Your DD picked up the fact that the father was absent for the bulk of it. Even though we have made great progress with equal rights – some of that old school “1950s” mindset that woman raise the kids while the daddy brings home the bacon is still with us. Plus, the woman who say this kind of stuff probably had to beg their husbands to have a baby.
I concur. I know a few people whose husbands would rather die than be left alone with their child. As sad as that is, and yes it’s their offspring, many dads do not willingly participate in parenthood or make open displays of affection, which is probably why these women are stunned to the point of making comment when their husbands do show love and involvement.