Chicken Little

Is the sky falling? I mean for real. What is going on this week?

In case you’re Sleeping Beauty and have been asleep all week, allow moi to be your Prince Charming and awaken you to a supposed grim reality of doom. Or, more realistically,  you always miss the news on TV due to Noggin channel in the morning and bath time in the evening, and maybe you’d rather catch up on celebrity gossip online than read the major papers (not that I would know anything about that, of course), then you might not have noticed that the world is ending this week for those of us with children. But apparently, it is.

See, just when I think I can’t be surprised by anything, apparently, I learn that I can.

So, not only are millions of toys being recalled by Mattel, then it goes and comes out that some baby bibs might contain lead:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/15/business/15lead.html?em&ex=1187409600&en=6083b53c77055276&ei=5087%0A

And then…and then….just when I think no more harrowing news about the pending illness and threat to our little lambs can come out, it turns out that all those times I’ve given our darling daughter little strips to help her congestion – seems that could kill her too:

 http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/16/health/16cough.html?em&ex=1187409600&en=785eece3709a3600&ei=5087%0A

So, if I were vulnerable and prone to mommy guilt, then maybe I’d be ending the week thinking I’m killing my kid through lead paint with the toys I’m giving her or when I’ve tried to help ease her congestion during the hideous cold season that is slowly coming upon us again. But really, I’m getting numb to it all. I mean – everywhere we turn, the sky is falling.

And along the way, I’m left wondering, how can they be sure? How am I supposed to believe that toys purchased BEFORE May 1st on the recall list are fine? Because I don’t know about you, but I’m staring down an entire series of Sesame characters that came inside darling daughter’s Easter eggs (which I purchased deliberately in lieu of chocolate…who would have thought that eating lead covered Elmo was going to be a worse antibiotics decision that just letting her eat chocolate? I’m either poisoning her with lead or I’m contributing to childhood obesity). And so, those characters are all on the recall list yet were purchased in April.

Am I REALLY supposed to believe that they miraculously are fine if purchased April 24th but NOT if purchased a week later?  Are the distribution channels from China to the US really THAT precise and organized? I’m inclined to think….no.

I mean, how dumb do they think I am?

Furthermore, on some level, what’s the point now? Cookie had a blue hat on when he was retrieved from said Easter egg hunt. Now, here we are, four months later and my beaver kid has chewed on him on a daily basis, so his hat is worn off. His hat was digested months ago.

She’s almost two and she’s survived cold season with a few strips to aide her congestion. And I can’t even read the article on lead in bibs. I swear there is no toddler with a full mouth of teeth that drools more than my kid, so how in the world can I keep up with lead in bibs when I go through 6-10 of them a day? I go through more bibs than diapers.

So what’s my point in all of this? My point is this – enough already. By my check, I’m a parent who loves my kid, just like everyone else, and I want for her to grow up happy and healthy and if I were to obsess over every single thing that comes out on such a regular basis, I think I’d become some kind of agoraphobe who forces her daughter to live in a bubble.

There’s a point to everything and I’m thinking I’m going to probably toss most of the toys on the list, they’ll make it to the trash can each time I see daughter gnawing on one, and along the way, I’ll look forward to baby happy hour and hope for the best.