Wiki-Parenting

By now, we all are quite familiar with the online dictionary, Wikipedia. It’s quite ingenious in its format and what’s more delightful than being able to edit the definition of a word? We all love to weigh in and redefine how we see things, what we think the real definition is. It’s genius, really. And just admit it – every single one of you LOVES to chime in on what something means. After all, you wouldn’t be a kitty-time fan if you didn’t have opinions of your own to spread around like wildfire!

So imagine my delight when I read a column posted in the online-mag Slate today. It’s called “Wiki-Parenting.”

And it is a brilliant and creative dissertation on what Kitty-Time likes to call “Group Parenting.”

Ahh yes….group parenting. If you have a child, you are all-too familiar with this concept. If you don’t have a child, then you probably naively fall into that category of believing that this won’t happen to you and having a family member be your full-time nanny is a dream come true.

Gather round, kittens, if you believe that to be true, I’ll tell you another.

For those of you who know what I’m talking about, read on for some humor.

Group Parenting, or Wiki-Parenting, is something we all have done and have experienced. Also admit that one. You’re just as guilty as moi. C’est vrai!

Group Parenting is the most overwhelming when you are a new parent and you are totally clueless. You really have no idea what you are doing and you are just faking it and not sure if you’re going to make it. In fact, secretly, in the wee hours of the morning, in a dark cavernous corner of your house, you are looking up the return policy for this little child that’s just entered your life. Did it REALLY come out of you, you wonder?

And so, to add to your hormonal roller coaster and sleep deprived mind, comes the confusing cancer entry of Group Wiki-Parenting. You say one thing, someone else says another. And then, someone else adds in something else. And before you know it, you don’t know up from down, let alone right from wrong.

Does Junior need a new diaper? Is it wet? It’s wet but maybe he doesn’t need it changed? It’s not wet but maybe he does need it changed? He’s crying because he’s hungry? What’s that you say, he’s crying because he’s not hungry? OK, but maybe he’s overtired? what’s that? He’s not overtired he’s hungry?
Or wait, what? He’s crying because he’s not wet but he’s still wants his diaper changed?
No no…shouts another..he’s crying because he woke up too early from his nap and needs to go back down!
No no….he’s crying because he woke up early from his nap because his diaper is wet AND he’s hungry.

Ahhh…yes….group parenting at its finest. It’s super. You’ll love it. And don’t forget, most offenders state the “obvious” solution with the utmost authority. There is no doubt lingering in their tone, therefore, well, they must be right, right?

The most egregious offenders are those without children. What the hell do they know?

Guess what?

NOTHING.

But sometimes, they can be right. Because sometimes, you are so flippin tired, that a dog on the street knows more than you.

And yet, it seems that group parenting, it never ends.

And just when you vow to never do it to someone else, you hear those words coming out of your mouth. It’s like an out of body experience.
Did you really just add into the ring of group parenting? You really just joined the mob? You just became THAT person? How hideous. Mon Dieu!

So, for a good read for those of you who know exactly what I am speaking of, check out this column: http://www.slate.com/id/2158216?nav=wp

And for those expecting parents out there, trust moi. Group Wiki-Parenting….is an equal opportunity offender. Not one of you will come away unscathed.