Dear Readers –
When I was a good feminist in college, studying all the ways women are kept down in this world, instead of obsessively reading gossip blogs and rags as I do now, one of the things that struck me the most was language. How language is powerful and there are awful, degrading words to describe women that just do not exist in the English language, for men.
We can all think of what many of these words are without me spelling them out…but I would like to add one to the list.
Nag.
When you hear nag – who do you think of first?
Admitt it, you think of your mother first.
Don’t deny this to kitty-time….I just call it like I see it, which is why you love moi.
So now that I am a mother…and a wife….I have a few things to say about this.
Nagging is a man’s word. Just like Thanksgiving is a man’s holiday.
Nagging exists because of men. Nagging is when you repeat something more than once b/c it didn’t get done the first time.
But the question is – WHY didn’t it get done the first time?
All of you husbands out there – you know the answer.
Because you didn’t allergy FEEL like doing it. Or you weren’t in the mood….or my favorite..you weren’t asked the right way the first time.
And so, let’s redefine the word nag. It is not something awful or annoying or shrill barking in your ear.
It is something that is being repeated again and again by an overworked wife…an overworked mother of your children that she birthed after hours of awful and painful labor…….and it is being said again because you, the husband, are too lazy to do it the first time.
Therefore…nagging is the result of male laziness…..and is a scarlet letter to be worn on the breast of an unhelpful husband, partner, or spouse.
For shame, lazy husband.
I do not have any brilliant solutions on how to avoid nagging…except that I will no longer think of it as an ugly thing that I am doing. Just as the French women do not consider themselves bossy or opinionated, rather, they know what they want.
When you hear yourself nagging…..it is because you know what you want..and you are determined…and will not stop until it gets done.
Go forth and nag, dear readers.
Nagging is nothing more than an assertion of power & control. In some cases, as Kitty Time mentions, its about someone’s relationship (be it bad or good) with their mother. Women like Kitty-Time try to assert power and men like Kitty-Time’s Awesome-Super-Cool-Resillent-Husband don’t bend like a reed in the wind to that assertion, which is itself and assertion on their part. And to him I say: “Keep on Keepin’ on ASCRH! You are not alone!”
I’ll sign this one,
Brother in Arms